We are all earthlings …

Women are not from Venus and Men are not from Mars.

As human beings, we are all very similar both in our needs and in our wants; trying to distinguish behavioral traits of man and woman is very amateurish and cliché infested.

I remember visiting my class mates house, his mother who had very little in common with the young blood went on and on about unverifiable difference in choices of man and woman like she sited that in food guys prefer sweet snacks while girls like savory , in clothing men like dark colors and women prefer pastels etc etc etc. Most of her crazy theories were based on observations of her three sons and three daughters. I remember rolling my eyes and thinking that too much parenting skewed her up.

She was not alone. The fake divide and vague categorization is everywhere.

On facebook, people keep coming with “funny” images of so called differences between the status messages, responses to sympathy generating status messages, computer desktop & rooms of girls and boys. Simple rules are depicted like boys have clean desktop but messy rooms and vice versa for girls. Its easy laugh and share and “viral” material, but its hardly ever that simple or true.

Today on radio, two men bragged about how sales was a woman thing and how man don’t really care about the costs till the “cloths” fit. Seriously? I know of men who know their sales and coupons and deals. These are men with limited income and serious family responsibilities. They don’t always depend on their wives for saving money on purchases. I think some of us have purchasing common sense while others don’t.

Some people use these so called "known" facts to avoid inconvenience. There are many jokes about the wives wanting to talk and connect and husbands suffer. In short women talk and man don’t. Have you ever noticed a couple on their dates? Both talk. If a guy decided to read the menu in detail or watch TV in a sports bar on a date without a conversation, the guy will probably stay single forever. After marriage, its easy to avoid mundane conversation siting being introvert and not much of an talker, which men are "supposed" to be, as an excuse.

Others see them through their convoluted view point. My old colleague rumbled on one of our team lunches, on how he wants to write a handbook on life and relationships. He said and I quote” Men are different from women, they need to feel wanted in a household”. Ha ha ha, can you imagine women want to be sidelined and treated like a trash by their family.

Cliches are funny when they come from “Stand-up comedians” , help chick flicks and make for some easy conversation but there is little basis and should be taken with a pinch of salt.

My name is Priti and I am an addict ...

I can’t even begin to count the demerits of watching television. I am not specifying “watching too much television” because I don’t know it any other way.

Unlike alcohol that ruins liver, cigarette smoking that takes toll on lungs and drugs make zombies; TV takes away the rarest of resource known to humans, time.

One Sunday afternoon, when I was school the wires at the electric pole short circuited and we lost electricity for the day. It was a great Sunday, it was a long Sunday, there was so much time. We talked, played, packed our bags in advance for next day. I pledged that I will give up TV forever, but I relapsed.

TV continued to stay the most effective waste of my time since then.

TV is glossy. TV is entertaining. But the addiction comes from the variety it offers. There is news, current affairs, sports, talk shows, music, movies, comedies, action, drama, thriller and most time is spend browsing through them to choose one. The selection of channels gives an illusion of control. Its best way to keep the troubled mind occupied from the mundane worries. Its prolonged escapism.

I wish I could fight this biggest vice, may be my excuse is that there are not enough Electricity outages in US.

Happily Ever After…

Today is the eve of my birthday. And the resolution for coming year is to stay fabulously happy. The start is auspicious; I can’t stop smiling every time I look at the mirror and notice my new earrings I gifted to my pretty self.

So life happens and problems come gushing. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. We deal with some like an invincible super hero but some hit us hard on our vulnerability and we succumb. Then what follow is pain, dilemma and hurt till friends and family come to our rescue and with their support we overcome.

Why go through the painstaking process to breaking and recovering each time? Allow me to list the rules of happiness and life, to remind us when we need it incase our friends are not there to hold our hands.

• We cannot control all situations. We can do the best and leave the rest.
• Listen to all opinions, but make your own decision.
• We have no power on what people think about us or interpret our actions and words
• Who said mistakes and faults are unacceptable, we are called mortals for a reason
• Be yourself
• We can live to the fullest whatever life has to offer us.
• Express yourself.
• Rules and “normalcy” are overrated.
• Music heals
• Meet people and talk, you will realize pains and problems are not exclusive to you
• Forget more and analyze less
• God is always there right beside us, helping us through various means.

Hopefully this year life will treat all of us a little more kindly. And even if it doesn’t happiness is a cup of coffee, a chat with a friend, a well written article, a colleague you helped, a fear you conquered, a meal you had, a gift you bought, the extra pound you shed and yes those earrings :) All iz Well!!

Flawed Anna-lysis

Every country is shrouded with corruption. Why it hurts us more is because in our country its prevalent at all levels.

When you have grease palms at your offense of defying the traffic rules to when you are rightfully seeking your own birth certificate; getting your kid admitted in school to when you need special attention in a general hospital; need a job or need a peaceful retirement, it is visible to all.

Though a very curious fact is that corruption, a practice which cannot be justified in any scenario is socially acceptable. Many profiles and jobs are considered lucrative and respectful only because they promise more than the stipulated salary and benefits.

So an ever-pinching, most frequently discussed and universally hated yet socially accepted corruption, got a new spin when Anna campaigned for its eradication.

Anna and his team, took the hefty task of cleaning the corrupt corridors of power through a very intellectual and transparent campaign. The support provided by hero-starved media and common man was obviously unprecedented.

But maybe, this support is because Anna, never asked the common man to change. There was no request made to defy corruption by denouncing giving and taking of bribes. Definitely the political corruption is much larger and it induces more drama to ask the corrupt to make laws to vanquish their own abilities to exercise corruption. But when you are in a room with dirt everywhere, you can reach out to clean from where ever you can start, you do not have to go on fast under the most unclean attic.

In the biggest democracy of the world, the biggest flaw is that all political parties are only superficially segregated. All of them are morally drained and power-cash hungry. This is why anti-incumbency factor is the most widespread feature of our election results. So if individual morality plunge further, one political party will give way to another equally corrupt regime & even the sought-after, fought-after, chaste and all powerful regularity body to monitor them may also fall prey to the same fate.

Power is disorienting, we are already aware of the team Anna itself giving very absurd, ineffectual and inept comments under the arch lights. So may be Anna should turn back to the followers and start a less glamorous campaign of social purification rather than political immaculacy.

I am Fine!!

How many times a day we respond saying we are fine to the gentle query “how are you?” and how many days are we actually fine?

Both custom and courtesy, allow no other answer. Imagine you are walking through the office and when your colleague asks you “how are you?” you reply “not good. Today wearing these jeans made me realize how much weight I have gained” or “Not good. Just saw the bank statement, gas prices are killing me” or “Not good. My dog is having an affair with the neighbor’s bitch and they decide to communicate in the night.”

Or “not good. I think I made some very bad choices in life” or “not good. My kid is constantly sick” or “not good. My realtor is a fraud”

Or “I am great. Despite you throwing me under the bus in our last meeting” or “I am good, but may be you should visit your stylist” or “Super, you pay me for pretending to work”

Once a friend said that everyone including friends and family like to hear that all is good. They are not interested in knowing the details of what is really going on….. she is kind of right. You come across as very negative and petty if you decide to express everything you are going through.

Actually all issues do not need to be reported either, most are like waves which sweep the shore only to be vanish. But some of these bottle inside us and then they erupt as something really bad and drastic. Divorces, pink slips, voilent breakups and now a days hiring people to murder spouses/business partners could be the result of too many “I am fine.”

Well I can’t think of a smart replacement though ….

Unworthy Universe

Have you noticed that after a heart-crushing breakup, and suddenly all radio frequencies start playing sad songs? Have you gone to a church service very distressed and needy, only to find that the sermon was written to address all your worries? Have you read a book or movie and took a life changing decision.

As per Paulo Coelho in the alchemist “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”

I disagree. I think this is giving too much credit to the Universe or fate or destiny. There are sounds, directions and signs pointing in all directions. We see what we want to see.

Life is simple; actually so simple that it’s hard to live. The decisions we make are driven by thought, emotions, perspective, past, complexes, fear and strength. They can be explained at times while at others they are just to do with life at a particular time. Someone has told us to think big, so even the decisions that touch our lives and only our lives, we have to have a bigger picture and story to support it.

We decide our wars, fight them and deal with the verdict. We absorb the strength needed from our surroundings; we can choose to call it the destiny or scheme of universe or divine intervention.

If universe could help us, it would have first helped by restricting the population to the number it could have directed and conspired for….

People Watching!!

I have no idea how individuals can be unhappy about reaching early for a movie, waiting for friends at a mall, stress about a delayed flight or have nothing to do on a lonely evening. They can always people watch.

People watching can be a habit, a hobby, cheap means of self-entertainment or effective means of self-improvement.

It’s fun to watch strangers. I was recently at the San Diego zoo over the busy July 4th weekend. I watched more people then animals. Its fun to notice looks, dresses, tattoos, interactions and reactions. The public display of affection of love birds, the stressed mothers pushing the strollers, the excitements of kids waiting in queue to buy ice creams, the struggle of the same kids to finish the ice cream before it melts, the parents pushing their kids to participate, the acrobats in the shows flashing an embarrassing smile when things go wrong, some people trying to scam into tedious queues and show anchors oozing confidence & comfort were all interesting observations.

Watching strangers is always fun and mostly at their cost.

It’s also fun to watch acquaintances like colleagues at workplace, at the customary store, your regular servers at coffees shop or restaurant. Their reactions have a flavor of familiarity and hence make a curious observation. You can have a manager who you respect, a peer at work who irritates by being irresponsible, team member you really want to mentor, an usual face to help you find the required groceries or someone who remembers your Thai food order every time you go for lunch. It’s fun to anticipate their actions and responses. Most of this observation is more comforting and less funny.

It's education to watch close family and friends. In fact, these are the people who make us. As babies we learn to talk by seeing our parents talk to us, our morality is based on our observation of their lives, our habits are built on theirs and our personality is designed based them. People watching friends help us built a personality like our family just in more relevant environment. They help us more to grow and understand life better. There is no teaching like observing someone you can respect, have unconditional faith and want to learn from.

People watching is really an instinct, we do it more often then we admit. And it helps is more then want to admit. So clean those eye glasses, find the perfect location in the coffee shop and watch life passively through people.