Saturday, November 28, 2015

Couch Activism

I will burn in hell if I ever condemn social media. It gives us a mythical and endearing mirage of society. It helps us to see what we crave for ... friends liking us,  appreciation of our creativity, respect and need for our opinion and somehow makes our words sound clever.

I am an animal and human right supporting, environmentalist ... living a vegetarian lifestyle while chasing the unicorn of loving, peaceful, tolerant, just mankind living on a green, pollution and war free earth. Proof you may ask, check my Facebook,Twitter,Instagram and blog. 

We propagate our thoughts, land our support, oppose vehemently what we do not believe in from the hideout out of our couch, keyboard as our tool, words/like buttons/emoji's as our weapons and hope to make a difference. Just because we are on the couch does not make it easy, we feel strongly, we hurt deeply, we love and lend support obsessively. We, well some of us, even think.  

What we do not do, is stop ourselves forming and displaying opinions. Vivid, graphic, heart felt opinions. Like some of us support tolerance to the extend that we become viciously intolerant to ones we perceive as intolerant or support forests to a level that we support criminal uprooting of villages and tribes for forest sustenance, support victims of a war enough to support the execution of anyone clouded by the doubt of being a perpetrator.

Life is simple of the couch. Words are clear. Intentions pristine.

We do not have to deal with the murky and the grey. We do not deal with human nature. Its easy to love people than live with them. Its easy to fight for a fair world free of power hungry dictators when seeking power is a form of and not necessarily distinguishable, from seeking respect, faith and followership. Its easy to seek end of terrorism, while there may not be a big difference between terrorists, freedom fighters and hell, even crazy activists. You can support end of a war, without thinking that it will take a war to end that war and  that war that will be needed to end the war will need warriors, who may loose their limb, life or minds. They will, only because people are good and bad, motives are good and bad, reasons are good and bad, justice is good and bad, weapons are good and bad; create new reasons for a new war.

How many of these opinions that we live by, talk by, believe by, argue by, seethe in... will make us make a banner and stand at the street corner or shout slogans in a rally, or participate in an uprising or fight or even die.

This is a tough question. Let me seek the answer, which may warrant a new, more comfortable couch and a better coffee maker. Let me pull the blinds on the window so I shall not be distracted by the view of the world while I save it.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Inept Peacekeepers!!

If you can imagine... what it is for you or your loved one to die, because you/they went out for a dinner or to work; how desperate you have to be to flee from your house and country because you cannot continue to live in inexplicable violence; how you are shunned by those in the world who have warm beds and full stomachs; how you are tripped by a camera person in your refugee camp, to film you and your child fall; how it feels to see your kids die of hunger and disease; how your daughter can be kidnapped and brutalized for going to school; how your baby can be born with a shrapnel in his head and how your infant's dead body can be washed ashore....you know what hundreds of thousands of fellow humans feel; How deep are the wounds to humanity; How impotent are talks of borders, religion, origin, reason, action ...

Till we do not identify with the pain, have compassion and anger for injustice to people across borders and across seas, there will be no end to this madness.

Our house is not safe if our neighbor's house and body burns. We can't rationalize a child can die because his parents were born in a certain country, could not oust a dictator, followed a particular religion..

If France had information of ISIS stronghold and 20 bombs to spare for their annihilation, why did they waited to be attacked. This action a few months back would have been more effective and have saved many more tormented Yazidis. By the way, how did France ensured that only and only ISIS members, who have practiced heinous crimes died? They must have ensured that no innocent , non-perpetrators Syrians were killed.... because if they were, this attack was not a revenge of attack on Paris, but an unfortunate extension.

US is very prompt to stop refugees because of the possibility of one of the millions displaced, sneaked an attack on the country that gave him asylum. Unlike Turkey, Jordan, Lebanon and many other European countries, US has not really helped refugees so far despite ISIS's origin being directly attributed to bad foreign policies followed by US. There main action in support of eradication of ISIS was to handover weapons to group of people, claiming to fight ISIS.

So who is taking an action to eradicate ISIS? Will it take Middle East to its organic, healing state? How can ISIS be eradicated without committing injustice on another group or individuals and creating future generation of terrorists? Why is Islam being associated with terror, when no God fearing person, irrespective to the name of God, will even hurt a fellow human? How dropping bombs in areas with "majority" ISIS members help? How does an emotional reaction and war cries of a hurt country help? How does sealing borders help? How does the cries of discrimination of death between various ethnicity helps?

Who are we: humans or proud citizens of a safe country? When words and videos can convince people to become Terrorists, where are the words and videos to convert them back?

Pain, death, suffering are universal languages like compassion, love and unity. Its time to think before we speak ...

Wednesday, November 04, 2015

Just a normal night of my normal life ...

 Diary Entry: Nov 2 

I was exhausted and sleep deprived by the time the weekend ended. Not a great place to be at. So Sunday night, I read my book to calm the effects of working late at night and hit the bed trying to squeeze as much sleep as possible.

As I start drifting to sleep I witness shaking of the walls and may be my bed. Something like this used to happen when contractors were working at my house and they walked on the flat roof. I start wondering who can be on the roof at that hour. A person sounds very scary and an animal too small to make an impact like that. Also there may have been a bed shaking which could not be explained. I wondered if the neighbors hit their car against the garage wall or something. And if my headboard was too close to the wall.

Anyway, I tried to put myself back to sleep when I feel a very definite shaking of the bed. It cannot be explained by an impact on adjoining walls. Now I wonder if a small (I hope) animal entered the house when I left the patio door open in the evening for cross ventilation. I woke up and switched on all the lights and became jumpy in anticipation of a small, ugly animal jumping at me. I suddenly, thought about the cayotes seen in the office parking lot, late at night.

I did not find any animal, so I was left with nothing to do but get back in bed and try to sleep after architect-ing tactical setting of my covers to dodge the swarms of mosquito, which definitely entered when I left my patio door open.

It was not easy sleeping with open question like which human was on my roof and which animal was in my bed … but I eventually did.

I woke up and decided to not instigate further and return to a normal week. This decision may or may not have followed a news of certain earthquake in Phoenix area.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Vehophobia (Applicable for India Only)

My skills to drive on Indian roads degenerated disproportionately faster then my years off the Indian roads. My latest vacation underlined my alarming loss of skills to even confidently sit along side papa or sis when they drove me around. Papa gets mad when he looks the my white, blood drained face ,notices my fingers clutching the sides of the seat and hear a lot of involuntary exclamations leaking from my lips; he thinks its a verdict against his driving skills. And I lie to my sis every time when she asks me how she drove,because my clinched shut eyes and exploding heart does not allow me to observe her skills, with the sincerity, her bravado deserves.

I believe my intelligence has finally realized that all the crazy activities like sky diving and roller coaster rides, for which i am vehemently opposed are not very different then Indian driving.

Even though I do not (and will never) get overwhelmed by the presence of cattle in on the road, a so called NRI trait. Still, there is so much on the roads that is not for the weak-hearted. There was a time while driving, there were cars overtaking us from both sides. It was unusual because it was a single lane road.

Another time, we actually jumped red light under peer pressure. We stopped behind another car at red light on a prominent road but other vehicles continue to pass. When the only other stopped car at the light in front of us decided to follow the illegally moving traffic, papa followed. When i protested he said Beta, how can i stop in moving traffic, except that the traffic light was still red.

my sister on the other hand, drove like Laura Croft, creating ways where none existed. (In reference to Laura Croft  made entrance in castles by plucking jasmines) my sister maneuvered the car somewhere between people legally and illegally driving, walking,parked and crossing. At times i forced my eyes to stay open for few seconds just to marvel at her courage. Though i had to soon shut them, lest my screams would distract her.

The time on the roads was an adrenaline rush, gratitude for the cheap taxis in case i need to move without my trusted drivers, a pang of sandness at loss of an instinct we, all Indians are born with and a little more awe for a country whose workings can never be explained.

Saturday, August 08, 2015

Greater Purpose!!

Humans are not just meant to eat, drink and sleep. These rituals of survival by themselves, defy the purpose of survival.

To be a hero, to do a greater good is a need of existence. In most cultures this need is fulfilled by nurturing a family. It is easy to play a hero to one’s offspring and make sacrifices. It is also, infinitely fulfilling to see them successful and happy. It is like the smallest unit of being a campaigner.

Most people seek a bigger purpose in life when the small campaigns of family are over or do not exist. It is also when another purpose is over whelming like when ones country, race or religion is threatened, something challenging ones existence.

Today the campaigns to champion for are minimal. They are too trivial, too distant, too polarized, too big or too unfathomable. It is difficult to give your all for bee keeping, to free Ukraine from Russia’s annexation,  political ideologies where hero become villains just too quickly, ISIS or human trafficking.

Another issue with finding a purpose is the number of forums in which these purposes can be discussed, advertised, argued and dissuaded from. There is a meaningless pandemonium of people looking for a  purpose and making mockery of those who have found one or at times just trivializing a purpose in arrogance, because they think their purpose to be bigger and better. After the Zimbabwean lion was murdered in the name of game, people posted pictures of dying kids and seeking outrage for what they thought to be a bigger cause.

But a lot of today’s campaigns are run from the couch, from the safety of ones house. There is outrage, emotional distress and deep thoughts resulting in signing of virtual petition on Facebook or a tweet war or discussion on personal and moral lives of celebrities. Day jobs are seldom resigned; war, demonstrations, diseases and police atrocities seldom faced; savings are seldom parted from; wounds are hardly ever inflicted or received or nursed and real difference very seldom made.

May be its the need of this purpose that makes us itchy and unsatisfied? May be there are no issues with our job, location, cars, roommates and cable provider? We may just be wandering in absence of a problem; a problem which by its unsolved existence, will solve the problem of our higher calling.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Once Upon a Time ....

Once upon a time I went for lunch with a colleague. He started talking about how his day unfolds differently when he starts it with positive thoughts; meetings go well when he believes that they will. I remember putting my hands in ,through my eyelids and holding my eyeballs to stop them from rolling.

This one upon a time was three years back. Today I go out on a limb to think positive, collect teachings and associate myself actively with people who exude such energy.

Once upon a time a sat in the backseat of my friend's car and blurred out about how tragic and bleak my life is. My aunt was infuriated that I was insulting the life GOD gave me. And she said she wanted to pray for me, there and then. I was shocked. The only times I prayed on a highway before this was when I saw a car coming the wrong direction, my way. 

This once upon a time was two years back. Today I actively pray and seek divine guidance even though ‘Being an Atheist’ is considered a sign of a radical mind.


Once upon a time I felt like a gladiator. I knew my issues and I was putting all my might in solving them. I was climbing a tough  mountain, with my eyes at the summit, knowing that discipline, focus, sincerity and hard work, along with denouncing my 'distractions' will eventually take me there. And then I saw this quote on Facebook.

This once upon a time as two days back.

It really got me thinking if my focus was noble and brave or wasteful and stupid. My problems have not vanished, the summit stares down at me, but I question if the summit is the Euphoria I am striving for. If these 'distractions' are the life i am missing, in the noble effort of improving my life. I don’t know if its scarier that I get my wisdom from Facebook or that the building blocks of my ideology crumble and raise all the time, evolving, degenerating, renewing, morphing...

I was talking about exhaustive demands of self-improvement to a friend and he was very surprised by my pursuit. He summed it up with “you struggle because you think you need improvement”. And this time I did roll my eyes and wondered, at what point in time, I will ever say ‘ Once upon a time a was  perfect… and with no room to improve or evolve or change …I continue to be so”

Saturday, May 02, 2015

Hunger and Thirst

Hunger and thirst are perennial needs of humans.

They constitute the all encompassing need that should and must be satisfied by any means. Righteousness, morals, conscience does not come in picture for the ones struggling with this need. Also these are primal needs, they are all-consuming and domineering, they cannot be stashed, toned-down and ignored.

These desires evolve based on the physical and emotional needs. The hunger for food and water though most common, is menial and unexceptional. Its the striving for enlightenment, money, power, fame, authority, respect, love, greatness, peace, understanding, expression or 'Others' that take more intention and action to quench.

There is no categorization to these quests, the hunger for inner peace is no better then the quest for power. Each quest is different and as potent as the person seeking it.

Also I am not sure if these are the needs or actually nature of humans. We move from one need to another. Its not controllable or there to accessorize our life. It becomes the focus of our existence.

Some may profess that this quest is the difference between the living and dead. But this may also be the become the burning desire that takes us from living itself.



Saturday, April 25, 2015

The Routine of Life ...

Routine is an interesting thing …

When I first moved to Bangalore to join Infosys, the bus ride to work was excruciating. Worst was this single stretch of thirteen km highway, it seemed unending. But as days passed, my eyes started to see and identify landmarks. There were temples, car showrooms, shops, hawkers, traffic pain points that soon segmented the long road and made it easier to traverse.

Routine acclimatize us to the day to day happenings of our average lives.

But routine also makes us complacent. I experience all the time, what I call ‘beginner’s luck’. But I am sure it’s not luck. When we do things for the first time, we are attentive and alive. I have never missed an exit on new routes or hurt a new acquaintance with casual remarks or lost dial in information of kick-off meetings of my new projects. Mistakes happen when we have repeated our actions enough to give them less attention than our preoccupying thoughts and worries.

Routine take us away from life, masking the nuances of change in the routine, in the overwhelming  wet blanket of boredom.

Being alive and living every moment is exhausting while letting them slip by in the smog of daily activities is wasteful. By the way from these two, there is no right or wrong. A life is composed of all kind of hues and colors. At times we are hit with adventures and opportunities while other times we brew in mundane moments.

Life is not a movie maker, magician or joker who made a promise to entertain us. Life is a card dealer at a casino, honestly oblivious of the cards its dealing to us. We can still hold it responsible for our fate and time, but its role and power is very muted compared to the cards in our hands.

Thursday, April 02, 2015

New Orleans

New Orleans is definitely a party city. Its buzzing, colorful, cheerful and funky, well most of it...

The glitter is interrupted, in too many places by mundane and deprived life.

Cities are like humans, when they try to sell you a image too hard, there is usually a very strong 'other side'. like Vegas, if you stay sober here, you see images of dearth, poverty and the frown behind the smiles. The city brims with heritage but that too seem divided to the haves and the have not's ..

I, unlike my friends,don't think the pain of this city originates from the devastation of Katrina... but from amazing economic disparity. From houses to cars to the dresses to the lines of pains on people face to their attitudes towards others... all cover the complete range. Very much like India. Also tragedies do not create divide, they just highlight them.

Its difficult to understand what is missing with the city. May be tourism erodes sustainable employment making earning dependent on tourist season. May be the alcohol and drugs, end up impacting the locals more than the tourist. May be we should not have stayed at Bywaters, May be we should not have walked around. May be we should have stayed sober....

But the city leaves an unfulfilled feeling, like I just watched an amazing magic show with full knowledge of the magician's tricks ....

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Smoke Signals!!

It was an interesting experience living without home internet for over a month. Actually, it was one month, four days, two hours and twenty one minutes. I don’t remember if I ever felt this deprived before. It was a gaping hole in my life. All my near and dear ones knew about my plight. I was two days short of stopping by the pan handlers at the traffic stops and telling them my “story”. By the way, I had internet at work and on my phone.

I found out many things about myself. First that I am my sister’s sister, I read, no I devoured fiction novels at her speed in order to combat the absolute lack of entertainment at home. By the way, fun fact: I use 3GB data every nine days without indulging into Netflix, YouTube, Pandora or Spotify on my phone.  

I also found that I can recognize voices of Cox customer care representative. ‘Debbie’, ‘Jason’, ‘Wudy’ were part of my life. Also, part of my life were the jibes from family, friends and colleagues. I am not sure of somebody informed the White House or not, but apparently this one episode establish the supremacy of Australia and India over America.

So entertainment was provided by library books, bills were paid and communication was done, online shopping halted, Cox bills stopped and phone bills went through the ceiling. Nothing was really missing, but something was.
               
Though I will still summarize the experience with the following words “Those were the stone ages and I survived by sending smoke signals.”