Saturday, November 19, 2016

Paralell Universe

Every visit back home, to India, is rejuvenating and re-calibrating.

Every visit home now also feels more disconnected to my life here. It is a funny feeling, where I stay the same person with my thoughts and views, needs and wants, dreams and duties... but the world around me and my position in this new cosmos changes dramatically.

It is like the singer performing in a musical where the set behind her changes while she is still singing the same song.

From the king of my jungle I turn into a claw less kitten, from chef extraordinaire to the ginger & green chilies retriever from the fridge, from a driver to scared passenger who closes her eyes and say a silent prayer just too often, from a decision maker to a permission taker ...

Characters of my musical change too quickly from friends who 'forget' their wallets when we go out for dinner to people who pay for my meals, shopping and existence, from people who think i am funny to those who see every hidden tear in my eye when i try to smile just a little too much, from taking care of myself to getting frustrated of being taken care of by the people who should take care of themselves before me.

..to knowing to each idea of mine will first be thrown out of the window, everyone proposal of help will be met with dismissal and from the head of the family i will move to being the kid of the family who has forgotten to act her expected age.

It is good to be part of two universes where you can still be yourself despite all the changes around you, wherehere you are loved, respected and missed ...is different ways for different reasons and how you love them both again for very different reasons.