Just a normal night of my normal life ...

 Diary Entry: Nov 2 

I was exhausted and sleep deprived by the time the weekend ended. Not a great place to be at. So Sunday night, I read my book to calm the effects of working late at night and hit the bed trying to squeeze as much sleep as possible.

As I start drifting to sleep I witness shaking of the walls and may be my bed. Something like this used to happen when contractors were working at my house and they walked on the flat roof. I start wondering who can be on the roof at that hour. A person sounds very scary and an animal too small to make an impact like that. Also there may have been a bed shaking which could not be explained. I wondered if the neighbors hit their car against the garage wall or something. And if my headboard was too close to the wall.

Anyway, I tried to put myself back to sleep when I feel a very definite shaking of the bed. It cannot be explained by an impact on adjoining walls. Now I wonder if a small (I hope) animal entered the house when I left the patio door open in the evening for cross ventilation. I woke up and switched on all the lights and became jumpy in anticipation of a small, ugly animal jumping at me. I suddenly, thought about the cayotes seen in the office parking lot, late at night.

I did not find any animal, so I was left with nothing to do but get back in bed and try to sleep after architect-ing tactical setting of my covers to dodge the swarms of mosquito, which definitely entered when I left my patio door open.

It was not easy sleeping with open question like which human was on my roof and which animal was in my bed … but I eventually did.

I woke up and decided to not instigate further and return to a normal week. This decision may or may not have followed a news of certain earthquake in Phoenix area.

Tough Life of a News Junkie

When you see your dad follow a process to devour the newspaper everyday, starting with the top bold letter headlines and eye catching news in the morning, details in the afternoon and almost every written word by the evening... you develop a fascination for news.

News, is only second to travelling, if you are looking to change your outlook. 

The benefits of knowing about your society, town, city, country and the world are not even in question. The matter of concern is the changing face of the source. I don't have a newspaper a day for my fix. I have access to multiple news sites and many news channels to indulge in. Not to forget radio. 

But no one tells you the news as is. The need to run for hours and hold Readers/viewers/audience attention corrupts the medium. The news channels sensationalize the news. The 'Breaking News' becomes an essential job description for journalists. The paraphrasing of events to 'add description' reminds me of padding words in essays while in school, in lieu of researching and finding more content. I support a policy for News channels and New sites to accept an abbreviated telecast/webpage in respect of a quieter, event less day.

Another problem with trying to grab attention of the audience results is news falling off the headlines when the “news reporters” assume that their audience is “bored” of the news. The first Ebola patient makes headlines. The second Ebola patient comes down a little in priority and by the time it’s an epidemic, only change in scene or region, cause a reshuffle the priority of the news.

If you want to find today what happened to the girls kidnapped by Boko Haram. You will find no news today. Pretty much like Drone strikes in Pakistan, Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, Human right violations in North Korea, Israel-Palestine relations.

God save you if you are trying to listen to actions of a democrat Federal Government through a TV/Radio channels in a republican state.

It’s up to an individual to filter the news to understand the events and not the views, visions and ideology of channel/reporter. Also wear blinkers to the life-altering information like celebrity divorces, weight gain and baby names.

Furlough Humans?

Recently my church scheduled some classes to teach singing. I got really excited and start dreaming how, if these classes work, I will be able to sing in the shower without the water pipes bursting open. I was really bumped when these classes got postponed. To deal with the disappointment I promised myself that I will google and learn. After all, internet knows it all.

Then i realized that recently for one reason or other I am opting internet over asking a friend, waiting for an instructor, talking to a business representatives or even calling customer service. From my visa worries to bank interest to car troubles, for work, for recipes and every other information I need, I simply use my laptop. Internet along with the self-checkout in stores and public library, facebook, emails, TV, telecommuting with team at work… has reduced human interactions with “real” people and brought them to an all-time low.

It’s amazing how human interaction can easily be made optional

In India, when you need your car serviced, you call up a friend to accompany you to the service station and bring you back with him/her so you don’t have to wait for hours while your vehicle is being serviced. And of coarse, also, help you get your vehicle back,later. In case you don’t have a friend available to help you, you can still wait at the workshop. While you wait, dealership employees will regularly come by and offer you free beverages and snacks to ensure good customer experience.

Here, in US, the dealership,“to help you avoid human interaction” offers a courtesy vehicle that you can drive around while your vehicle is being serviced. In case you decide to wait for some reason and not opt for a free drive; you have a cable TV, brewed coffee and free vending machines stocked with snacks and beverages at your disposal. So you get the same “good customer experience” just human less. 

Climate is changing. I don’t evolve too quick,so I am still holding on to my “Fridays with humans”, for now.

Introducing: My Alter Ego

My creative partner Manu and I were talking about writing some original quotable quotes, so he suggested I should think and write as my alter ego. Of course, he thinks I am all kind of crazies, with all possible psychological doodles in my brain. But this one I am not or should I say, I was not.

I went to the fountain of knowledge (Wikipedia) and found “An alter ego (Latin, "the other I") is a second self, which is believed to be distinct from a person's normal or original personality”. And started the Godisque effort of creating someone from my imagination, Joe Weed(adding a googled pic to help visualization; similarity with any Hollywood superstar is unintentional).

Let me introduce Mr. Joe Weed to you. His eyes have a stillness, a peace, a non-judging, non-calibrating, non-needing, non-seeking, non-longing simple vision; a vision to see through the smoke of everyday clutter, through the screen of fake busyness, images, beauty, faces to impartially observe life; his words speak to express facts as they are without the robes of kindness, political correctness, compulsion to be understood or agreed with; his heart harbors no hurt, looks through joys and walks away from pain, he can tear apart from jealousy, acceleration of successes, despondency of failure, itch of despair and has mastered the ability to forgive in order to stay free. His mind is beautiful. He does not worry about his future or the future of his loved ones. He doesn’t relive the past. He thinks simple, unattached thoughts, observed analysis, no affiliations and no restrains.

He is wise enough to know that the life need not be hoarded, be scared of or be in awe with; naïve enough to be excited at its unfolding and skillful enough to sit beside it, enjoying the company.

I can’t wait to get to know him better. He seems worthy of my headspace.

My name is Priti and I am an addict ...

I can’t even begin to count the demerits of watching television. I am not specifying “watching too much television” because I don’t know it any other way.

Unlike alcohol that ruins liver, cigarette smoking that takes toll on lungs and drugs make zombies; TV takes away the rarest of resource known to humans, time.

One Sunday afternoon, when I was school the wires at the electric pole short circuited and we lost electricity for the day. It was a great Sunday, it was a long Sunday, there was so much time. We talked, played, packed our bags in advance for next day. I pledged that I will give up TV forever, but I relapsed.

TV continued to stay the most effective waste of my time since then.

TV is glossy. TV is entertaining. But the addiction comes from the variety it offers. There is news, current affairs, sports, talk shows, music, movies, comedies, action, drama, thriller and most time is spend browsing through them to choose one. The selection of channels gives an illusion of control. Its best way to keep the troubled mind occupied from the mundane worries. Its prolonged escapism.

I wish I could fight this biggest vice, may be my excuse is that there are not enough Electricity outages in US.

No Kidding!!

I don’t think parenting is an instinct. It’s the biggest commitment and responsibility one can take upon themselves.

But the question is why will someone take nine months of having a life in the womb, then cleaning after their pooping & burping, followed by incessant running behind, relentless preaching & teaching and everlasting worrying & botheration.

Being a parent makes you worry about their health, then their company of friends, then their good education, then their job & success and then their relations & how you will fit in them.

I do not understand the urge to proliferate. Neither everyone have the kind of genes which if not taken to next generation will cause any serious loss to the world nor is everyone carved out to be a great parent. If the later was not true, we would have seen far less number of squealing and misbehaving children at restaurants, airports, parties and malls.

I also do not think that all “little human’s” are cute and adorable because of their size. Some of them are ill-mannered, ill-tempered and outright ugly. Why is it so difficult to call them as they are? After all they are not travel-size-toiletries for their mere small size will make them convenient and pretty…. then why the unspoken rule to go “aaaaawwwww” on facebook when your friends publish the pictures of their kids?

I strongly believe that if the nature has not posed the trap of ‘biological clock’ to haste women in imprudent decisions of parenthood, most would have attained the maturity to skip it completely.

Oh yes!! This is just a thought. There may be rewards of parenthood which I do not understand, after all sleep, control-of-ones-life and peace of mind are overrated. :)

Love ….Really?

So we love chocolates, music, beaches, good looking celebrities, successful sportsmen & women, boyfriends/girlfriends, spouse, kids …. and most things under the sun….

Does an emotion like love really exist? Or is attraction, affection, level of comfort, acceptance, rebellion, need, adjustment, obstinacy, security, sensory pleasure, fear of loneliness, extreme fondness, dedication, devotion, social pressure ….or a combination of these emotions/perceptions is misrepresented as love.

We can argue that skipping of a heart beat when we see some one is attraction; long extended glimpse of someone from the corner of the eye is flirting; long talks through the night is sharing; remembering special moments and celebrating them is caring; struggle to be with some one we decided we want to be with, is rebellion; secret crush is a fantasy; relationships are a human need; continuing a not-so-successful relationship is the fear of moving out of the comfort zone; an abusive relationship is lack of self confidence; marriage is a commitment; Indian marriage, a social pressure; parenthood is responsibility and devotion; extra marital affair, a deceit; and dying for someone is plain and simple, stupidity

And love for all material things is just an expression to convey very strong liking

May be love is over-simplified-in-definition and over-exaggerated-in-depiction emotion which was created as inspiration for short fictional creations like stories, movies and lyrics; as an excuse for tacky decoration and gifts; as a cover for all defiance; as a romantic lie to embellish the not-so-pretty truth of mundane life

The complexities of human mind, nature, attitude and behavior through the turmoil of time, are just too mammoth to accept, cherish and live, a single all absorbing, all eclipsing and all important, ever lasting emotion …even if it was thought by Shakespeare :)

Are you married?

I don’t know if I am the only one, but I find this question offending.

How can an acquaintance, a friend or a colleague be impacted by someone’s marital status? And how does something as personal as relationship become an acceptable introductory or lets-catch-up question?

Marriages or relationships are not an achievement or symbol of progression in life….Also if you are involved with someone’s life you will be aware of such status, if the individual finds it important for you to know you will be informed of the same… but why ask…

By the way questions do not stop at marriage....there is a sinister series… if you confirm you are married you are asked if you have kids; if you confirm you have a kid, you are asked when you will complete the family … and then people wonder why India has a population problem.

There seems to be masked intolerance to anomalies of the established norm of matrimony and procreation. And more then that, a right to provide unsolicited advice on the matter.

I know I sound weird. But in my humble opinion individuality and privacy needs to be respected. Regular probing is irritating. The offensive part comes from the recognition that its not only idle relatives and nosy neighbors but contemporaries; people who have a life to live, world to discover, truth to find and answers to seek … answers to questions bigger then “Are you married?”.