Showing posts with label Lighter Note. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lighter Note. Show all posts

Thursday, June 06, 2013

Racially Yours!!

So a friend from Mangalore teased a friend from Tamil Nadu about his love for curd rice. My tamil friend got seriously offended and branded my mangalorian friend as “racist” …

Now I am thinking that how can “fish-rice” (manglorian friend) teasing “curd-rice”(tamil) be so unacceptable when most “daal-baatis” (rajasthani’s) and “chola batura’s” (punjabi’s) still think that below “vada-paav” (Mumbai) everything is “rice & coconut oil” (south india)… 

Racism is bad and severe. But this episode is not racism, its a cliché. Cliché’s about color, culture and race are not offensive, though decisions based solely on them are.

When we see people with white, black, yellow, brown skins, when we hear male-female voices, when we notice ethnicity and nationalities; known cliché’s run in our minds. And if we don’t have any, they are made as we go through life, … a lot of people make up their mind with their experiences like working with a micromanaging Indian manager or friendship with a i-speak-my-mind New Yorker or very efficient Asian store attendants or good Venezuelan car salesman or coupon savvy Mexican teammate or crafty IT contractor.

If all stand-up comedians are to be believed, cliché’s can be funny; old people say cliché’s hold wisdom and talkers skillfully use them as funny icebreakers. Though I think it’s just human nature of find patterns and do hasty/whimsical classification of events and people.

Anyway, I say clichés fun. And if we misname them something sinister like racism, they don't cease to be fun ...

Monday, March 29, 2010

Heartfelt Future Obituaries …

Behen Mayawati: The esteemed leader of the poor and backward who on seeing no progress on the economic front for the downtrodden, swung into action and accumulated wealth in her name on their behalf. We will miss you, oh!! Humble leader!! Every landscape in UP reminds of you, as we see one or the other, of your thousands of statues in the backdrop. Only if we would have not made such a heavy garland this time and only if you would have not insisted on wearing it with out help… you would have still been with us…

Shashi Tharoor: Twitter will never be the same without you dear sir. You were not only a great writer, a respected spokes person on international affairs, a politician who believed in austerity but also a path breaking brand endorser. As a mark of respect, hence forth all policies and decisions by Indian parliament will have to be tweeted before they are implemented as laws.

Amitabh Bachchan: Sir!! You achieved immortality as an actor during your lifetime. But who knew you will be remembered more dearly for your contribution in altering the social fabric of India. You rewrote the role of Patriarch. Now all fathers must not only provide for their family but should also start a blog defending themselves and each member of their family. In your fond memory we will always remember that Aishwarya rai bachchan is a virtuous lady with no health problems; Abhishek bachchan is a good actor and Delhi-6 should have been a hit; Jaya Bachchan is a charismatic leader who should be taken seriously and Amar Singh is a saint.

Mulayam Singh Yadav: We will miss a visionary and an activist for social reforms. You were a champion in cause of women empowerment and their standing in the society. Sadly, you were also misunderstood. Many people are not even aware that you gave ticket to your daughter-in-law when your son won from both seats he represented in the assembly election. People though you were against family dynasty and giving tickets to undeserving women, but those ignorant masses did not knew you were only against these issues outside your own family. As you worthy wife take over as the leader of Samajwadi party we hope your ideologies will live on…

Rahul Mahajan: At such young age you revolutionized the society. Earlier most women were expected to marry under social pressure. But since you appeared on TV as most eligible bachelor, most parents had a change of heart. They encourage their daughters to stay single lest they end up marrying a man like you. Your death also provided a valuable lesson that mind altering substances, like all things in life should be used in moderation.

Bal Thackeray: Our news papers would have been empty and “fundamentalism” a difficult word to define, if you would have not graced the earth. You enlightened us about Mumbaikars and Mumbai lest we thought of the former as Indians and later as an Indian city. Though most mumbaikars still think they are just Indians and feel very proud of the fact, but you knew better. You also brought unexpected reactions from people. My conservative dad became an advocate of rights for people to express themselves on Valentine day seeing your workers condemn the same so harshly. By the grace of God you gave us visionary leaders like Raj Thackeray and Uddhav Thackeray to carry on your legacy.

Swamy Nityananda: We always knew only a man with such high morals connected to the higher powers will be able to solve the biggest problem of the country. You showed us the way Godman!! It was so simple, it was right there in front of us, but it took a Godman like you to show us… you taught us the lesson if we deliberate , debate , hold discussion, go to Haridwar to reflect after every…ahmmm … it will definitely apply breaks to the growing population. Swamy ji ki jai ho!!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Priti Almighty !!

I finally saw the movie “Bruce almighty” and my imagination ran untamed, as it always does on seeing something so creative.

So if I were to be GOD for a day (I am pretty confident of an extension); some drastic changes can be expected. Of coarse I will not be working on petty or selfish issues but towards greater good of mankind and World Peace. (The fake, well rehearsed beauty pageant smile and pose)
  • People will be allowed to make plans and I will honor them if they are reasonable, in contrast to what happen now.

  • Like heart and soul every one will also have a dream.

  • People will hear music in the background when they fall in love to help them understand this complex phenomenon and distinguish it from similar incidences like crush and infatuation. In fact, I may just give life a background score to make it more interesting.

  • They will get life lines to help them keep their relations.

  • Life will have a fast forward and a rewind button.

  • All money and assets will self destruct themselves every year to help people notice their ineffectuality.

  • Traveler’s miles will be calculated for frequent travelers and considered for perks to encourage people go around this beautiful planet and meet new people. Traveling assists to gain knowledge and appreciate different people and culture, one of the best ways to facilitate growth of tolerance and eradicate prejudice.

  • I will disassociate myself with all rivers like Ganga to do my bit for pollution control and environment.

  • Six packs will be bone structure in all Homo sapiens. (I assume GOD can interfere with science and evolution). And abdomen will have no curvature or flab.

  • To maintain law and order punishments would be part of nature. You do a crime and will be punishment. These will be for all types of crimes, be it heinous or petty. For example if you ogle at women your eyesight will become weak.(ummm ahmmm …bad example… may have to reconsider this one, otherwise all Indian men will go blind in no time.. whatever you got the concept)

  • Like Pinocchio, people’s nose will increase length if they whine. (No. This one is to bring optimism in the most grumbling creatures in this world and not to make my small nose big. Hunh!!)

  • Will definitely develop life in few other planets, Back up and business continuity is important.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Vivah per Nibandh

Vivah jeevan mein mahatavpurn hota hai. Jab tak nahin hota hai, tab tak mata-pita aur rishtedar kisi aur vishay per vichar nahin karte. Un ke saath kiye hue kisi bhi vartalap ka aant vivah ke vishay mein chintan per hi hota hai.

Vivah kai prakar ka hota hai. Var vadhu ke vivah mein adhik log aate hain. var-var aur vadhu vadhu ke vivah mein jyada log, aur kabhi kabhi to parivaar bhi nahin aate..

Adhiktar log vivah ke pehle, vivah ki aor atiutsuk rehte hain. Us ke vichaar mein vivah se akelepan ka aant hota hai. Kintu vivah ke pashtyat vo vivah na karne ki salaah dete hain aur sawam ekant dhoondte hain.

Vivah per kai filmein bani hain yadi film ke aant mein vivah hoga hai to sukhmay hota hai, kitnu agar shuru mein hota hai to kai jhagde hote hain.