Monday, July 20, 2009

Priti Almighty !!

I finally saw the movie “Bruce almighty” and my imagination ran untamed, as it always does on seeing something so creative.

So if I were to be GOD for a day (I am pretty confident of an extension); some drastic changes can be expected. Of coarse I will not be working on petty or selfish issues but towards greater good of mankind and World Peace. (The fake, well rehearsed beauty pageant smile and pose)
  • People will be allowed to make plans and I will honor them if they are reasonable, in contrast to what happen now.

  • Like heart and soul every one will also have a dream.

  • People will hear music in the background when they fall in love to help them understand this complex phenomenon and distinguish it from similar incidences like crush and infatuation. In fact, I may just give life a background score to make it more interesting.

  • They will get life lines to help them keep their relations.

  • Life will have a fast forward and a rewind button.

  • All money and assets will self destruct themselves every year to help people notice their ineffectuality.

  • Traveler’s miles will be calculated for frequent travelers and considered for perks to encourage people go around this beautiful planet and meet new people. Traveling assists to gain knowledge and appreciate different people and culture, one of the best ways to facilitate growth of tolerance and eradicate prejudice.

  • I will disassociate myself with all rivers like Ganga to do my bit for pollution control and environment.

  • Six packs will be bone structure in all Homo sapiens. (I assume GOD can interfere with science and evolution). And abdomen will have no curvature or flab.

  • To maintain law and order punishments would be part of nature. You do a crime and will be punishment. These will be for all types of crimes, be it heinous or petty. For example if you ogle at women your eyesight will become weak.(ummm ahmmm …bad example… may have to reconsider this one, otherwise all Indian men will go blind in no time.. whatever you got the concept)

  • Like Pinocchio, people’s nose will increase length if they whine. (No. This one is to bring optimism in the most grumbling creatures in this world and not to make my small nose big. Hunh!!)

  • Will definitely develop life in few other planets, Back up and business continuity is important.

Friday, July 17, 2009

India today!!


If you return to India after a considerable period of time you are bound to notice the following:

  • If you wouldn’t know what Indian flag is like and that faces can’t be flags, Dhoni’s face is so frequently seen that it can well qualify as the symbol of our nation.

  • Once existing small currency denomination problem has been resolved. Now everything cost a hundred bucks or more.

  • There is still no right hand driving or left hand driving, it’s the good old ‘I own the road’ driving.

  • You will see a new form of child labor on Indian Television, portrayed as singing/dancing prodigies and new form of dramatic genius in the form of judges of talent hunt shows.

  • Pink is the new blue for men (eeeeiiikkks)

  • Free incoming calls on cells, abundance of print media to substitute for high-speed internet and local shopkeepers for GPS/Google maps are a welcome change.

  • You will be reminded what complications innocent rain can bring to your life, from power outage to cell phone connectivity to no cable TV to traffic jams to flooding of roads to no local trains. There seems to be a Rain Demon and not a Rain God.

  • There is no parking place left anywhere.

  • The Aloo Tikki burger at McDonalds, shopping for Indian dresses and the look on your parents face when they see you will be three of the many highpoints of your stay.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

The theory of Life!!

It’s the pep talk, the rationalization of apprehensions, the trivialization of concerns and the normalization of stressed nerves.

Heart tends to break, issues with job & life pop-up every now and then, relationships go sour and decisions are not always easy to take & live with … and this is the time we speak and are spoken to the over-simplified fundas of life.

Some of the commonly said/heard words of wisdom are:
· Tension would not help resolve issues
· Future is not known, past cannot be changed so enjoy the present
· Everything happens for a reason
· Do your best and leave the rest
· Time will resolve everything
· Live each moment to the fullest
· Good things happen to good people

Its like you are standing in chemistry lab with a beaker full of chemical mixture which was supposed to change colors long back, and they still haven’t… and while you are freaking out of your nerves… people are still preaching the disconnected theory of your failed practical.

This affable, over the phone or over the coffee, cost free but heart felt bucket of incoherent advice from friends is still the silver lining to the grey clouds of life.