It is the eye ...

My education was good. But from the innumerable subjects I learnt, one of the most precious lessons was taught to me by my English and Math teachers at high school…

My English teacher really liked me. She had no qualms showing her affection and appreciation for me; she cited my qualities and enthusiasm towards spoken English to many of my class mates. Of course, this motivated me to do be better.

My math teacher on the other hand, for some reason did not like me. It was baffling for many reasons. One that it was not that she did not have her favorites; there was a long list just that I was not a part of it. Second reason was that I could not figure out why she will not approve of my qualities, which were so agreeable to my English teacher. I did, all my young mind could think of to impress my math teacher but she very evidently did not consider me as one of her preferred students.

I ended with exact same grades in both subjects but very different relationship with my teachers.

Perturbed by the dilemma I lived through; I decided since I also had a tendency to strongly like and dislike people I will never become a teacher least I put someone through the same predicament. What I did not realize at that time was that this behavior was very natural. In all spheres and at all stages of life we seek acceptance and approval of people who matter to us. These people form an opinion about us just like we form opinion about the people associated with our lives.

We all have friends and acquaintances we avoid; good team mates we enjoy working with and team mates we don’t respect; relatives we are proud to be associated with and relatives we can’t stand; managers we consider leaders and ones we feel as an irritant in the tasks assigned to us; young ones we bless from the bottom of our heart and the ones we do not care about. We assign people to these categories based on our evaluation. An evaluation we seldom revisit. Also an evaluation we can most of the time not rationalize.

We not only accept and reject people based on some obvious traits but at times on our whims and with eagerness.

Same is true for someone who has drawn a conclusion on us, whether in our favor or not. Ideally we should stop striving so hard to be liked since it’s not about what we are but the eye evaluating us.