Thursday, January 20, 2011

Tall Tales Contest: The First Version

I participated in another Contest at Toastmasters called the “Tall Tales”. Three to five minutes of creativity with the added spice of exaggeration and madness …



What you see and perceive is not true.

I am a comfortably-floating, healthy-yet-feeding-through-a-tube, fast-growing-by-doing-nothing FOETUS

Before sending me in this perfectly temperature controlled pool, GOD told me this will be the good part of my life. But the coming times will be more challenging and one of the flip side will be that I will forget the time spent with him. Whatever, he at least kept his promise and did not sent me to India or China…. Most of us go there now a days...

I hear things and understand very well despite my size and still forming organs.

I am closest to my mother… literally. She tries to love me but can’t, I don’t let her. Every time she gets all mushy on me, I make her puke, churn her stomach or make her dash to the restroom. I take my this nasty sense of humor after her…. She loves telling all her boyfriends that they are responsible for me. Oh guys!! You must hear those guys freaking out…

I am sure she does it for kicks, because she has already made up her mind to raise me by herself. This is actually, one of the main reasons of the fights between her and my grandparents. My grandparents are funny, they disapprove of what my mother says, do, how she lives and me. Yet they support her unconditionally. My grandmother even plans to come to help my mom when I decide to arrive, she better do that I plan to be quite a handful.

When my mother is not creating this drama, she watches drama. I cant see but I am very interested in what she watches. I hope her taste in movies does not change and I get to watch some of it….

She is treated very well because of me. At work, she is allowed upteen leaves; probably because they know that even if she is at work she either eats or goes for a trip to the restroom. Food reminds me… I can do with a salmon sandwich now… oh yes!! Because she owes her comfort at work because of me, I decide what she eats and in what quantities.

Some days, in the evening she goes to the children play area to kindle her maternal instincts. I don’t think it is working. She is petrified of the crying, screaming and blabbering kids. In fact that is the only time I heard her say that she prefers me being inside her rather then outside.

These play area teach me a lot too. When I hear those mothers yell at their kids I know what is in store for me. Good thing is that I can revenge the future yelling with my present kicks.

I know I will be out soon and things will be difficult. The old man before sending me here told he will take care of me. I hope I can remember this …

Ok guys!! Need to go. is the salmon sandwich there yet?? …

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