Thursday, March 10, 2011

It is the eye ...

My education was good. But from the innumerable subjects I learnt, one of the most precious lessons was taught to me by my English and Math teachers at high school…

My English teacher really liked me. She had no qualms showing her affection and appreciation for me; she cited my qualities and enthusiasm towards spoken English to many of my class mates. Of course, this motivated me to do be better.

My math teacher on the other hand, for some reason did not like me. It was baffling for many reasons. One that it was not that she did not have her favorites; there was a long list just that I was not a part of it. Second reason was that I could not figure out why she will not approve of my qualities, which were so agreeable to my English teacher. I did, all my young mind could think of to impress my math teacher but she very evidently did not consider me as one of her preferred students.

I ended with exact same grades in both subjects but very different relationship with my teachers.

Perturbed by the dilemma I lived through; I decided since I also had a tendency to strongly like and dislike people I will never become a teacher least I put someone through the same predicament. What I did not realize at that time was that this behavior was very natural. In all spheres and at all stages of life we seek acceptance and approval of people who matter to us. These people form an opinion about us just like we form opinion about the people associated with our lives.

We all have friends and acquaintances we avoid; good team mates we enjoy working with and team mates we don’t respect; relatives we are proud to be associated with and relatives we can’t stand; managers we consider leaders and ones we feel as an irritant in the tasks assigned to us; young ones we bless from the bottom of our heart and the ones we do not care about. We assign people to these categories based on our evaluation. An evaluation we seldom revisit. Also an evaluation we can most of the time not rationalize.

We not only accept and reject people based on some obvious traits but at times on our whims and with eagerness.

Same is true for someone who has drawn a conclusion on us, whether in our favor or not. Ideally we should stop striving so hard to be liked since it’s not about what we are but the eye evaluating us.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

The Cringe Factor

Shopping in India is very satisfying. The range of type of goods is astounding. For example footwear, when you go to buy footwear you will find the comprehensive range from sleek to gross. We, Indians not only buy what we like but just for kicks, we look at something we will never buy and wince. To do so we do not need the classiest of taste. It is pretty simple; there is always something worse then our taste available there…. Like when women go to shop for sarees, they ask for “sober” colors and if an objective eye was to see that fabric they will redefine the word sober. The amazing range, just help them find something more eye-hurting, and brand their own choice as classy n elegant.

Cringe factor is required everywhere. I read online Indian newspaper everyday. Of course, I could not believe when it showed “Mandira Bedi is pregnant” as the third headline. Mandira Bedi is a nobody and since she is an Indian, being pregnant is really not a news. (LOL!!) I can and should switch to a better newspaper but then I will not get an opportunity to see some obvious stupidity and cringe.

It’s repeated almost as a chant, “we are not perfect” but nobody talk about how important it is to be less imperfect then others. For this we need to have enough things to cringe about in our lives…

Imagine you working with competent team members, married to Sean Connery and having the most rational, non-intrusive and classy relatives and friends; how on this earth will you ever gossip or make interesting conversation? How will you ever gloat about your own glory in a perfect world? How one dimensional it will be to just appreciate and marvel at excellence?

If we watch the most intellectually stimulating channels(no reality shows or sit-coms), listen to only original music (no pritam or anu malik), watch only movies reflecting creative genius(no bollywood) … you really think we will be creatively satisfied? No, lack of mix in quality will not only restrict us to a very small number of pleasures but also deprive us from feeling smart and cool.

How cool and fun it is to squirm, you will know if you read reviews of mainstream bollywood movies. The insults hurled are almost always more interesting then the movie itself.

Imperfections and blatantly looking down upon them, is definitely a feel good factor for us, we the imperfect humans.