Once Upon a Time ....

Once upon a time I went for lunch with a colleague. He started talking about how his day unfolds differently when he starts it with positive thoughts; meetings go well when he believes that they will. I remember putting my hands in ,through my eyelids and holding my eyeballs to stop them from rolling.

This one upon a time was three years back. Today I go out on a limb to think positive, collect teachings and associate myself actively with people who exude such energy.

Once upon a time a sat in the backseat of my friend's car and blurred out about how tragic and bleak my life is. My aunt was infuriated that I was insulting the life GOD gave me. And she said she wanted to pray for me, there and then. I was shocked. The only times I prayed on a highway before this was when I saw a car coming the wrong direction, my way. 

This once upon a time was two years back. Today I actively pray and seek divine guidance even though ‘Being an Atheist’ is considered a sign of a radical mind.

Once upon a time I felt like a gladiator. I knew my issues and I was putting all my might in solving them. I was climbing a tough  mountain, with my eyes at the summit, knowing that discipline, focus, sincerity and hard work, along with denouncing my 'distractions' will eventually take me there. And then I saw this quote on Facebook.

This once upon a time as two days back.

It really got me thinking if my focus was noble and brave or wasteful and stupid. My problems have not vanished, the summit stares down at me, but I question if the summit is the Euphoria I am striving for. If these 'distractions' are the life i am missing, in the noble effort of improving my life. I don’t know if its scarier that I get my wisdom from Facebook or that the building blocks of my ideology crumble and raise all the time, evolving, degenerating, renewing, morphing...

I was talking about exhaustive demands of self-improvement to a friend and he was very surprised by my pursuit. He summed it up with “you struggle because you think you need improvement”. And this time I did roll my eyes and wondered, at what point in time, I will ever say ‘ Once upon a time a was  perfect… and with no room to improve or evolve or change …I continue to be so”