I am seriously jealous of ...

• Those drivers that move from behind you into the next lane, in an attempt to over take you,  even though the sign clearly shows that their new lane is meant to end and merge back. Can you imagine how interesting their life must be to put in so much effort, just to return to their life with 3 extra seconds? 

• Professionals who go to work with a wallet and phone. I need a purse filled with chargers, moisturizers, cough drops and blah blah blah. Another bag full of lunch, snacks, silverware and cloth napkins as i refuse to pollute environment with the free plastic cutlery and paper tissues provided in the breakroom. As a hippie i also carry massive bottles of green tea and .... as a true hippie i also bring empty ones back as i don't trust my office's recycling. Oh and gym bag with change and shoes.

• Home owners who do voluntary upgrades to their house. There is a hissing sound coming from my bathroom and i can assure you i would have been half as scared if there was a snake in my bathroom. Like all fears, my fear of house maintenance stems from lack of knowledge.

• Women who wear heels. I feel incapable of rationalizing the amount of discomfort of wearing heels; they will have to make flat shoes illegal for me to wear heels.  Is't the whole idea of wearing shoes is to prevent your feet from hurting?

• People who can have a sense of direction. Coming out of the new mall's parking lot yesterday, the google maps threw "south", "east", "right", "left" so hard at me that i was more confused then when i watched the movie Inception. I just followed a black sedan hoping he/she was going to the same freeway i was trying to reach. So the best way to kidnap me is to leave a location unfamiliar to me, just before me and i will probably follow you to the house where you plan to hold me .