Monday, December 31, 2007

New Year Wishes ...

Augment … laughter

Ignore … pains and tears

Rekindle … zest

Forget … failures

Reinforce … confidence

Decorate … dreams

Embrace … forgiveness

Express … care

Replenish … hope

Celebrate ….life



Welcome … Time



Wishing you and your loved ones, a very Happy and Successful Year Ahead!!

Friday, December 28, 2007

Knowing Right and Doing Right!!

Last few months have been crazy at work. There have been no date and time, just deadlines. I understand and acknowledge the concept of work-life balance, sharpening the axe and all that… but just some more effort, one more milestone and some more learning … thoughts that still drives or misguide you…
Knowing what is right and doing things the right way is so different, almost always. For example
• Eat healthy
• Exercise :)
• Positive thinking
• Think before you speak
• Don’t react in anger
• Don’t get angry for that matter
• Don’t let ego rule relationships
• Accept people, no ones perfect
• Etc, etc, etc ….

The ideal way is a tough way…or honestly …I think the abandoned way, know nobody taking it …he he. May be because it’s the way of mind…which is never alluring ….

Life is to be lead and lived by heart.

That is probably why even in life without exercise, sporadic proper meals, lack of sleep, bursting stress level and growing coffee addiction …writing is still therapeutic.

A big thanks to everyone who has read my writing and special thanks to ones who have dropped their comments, to my blogs…This happens to be the fiftieth :) ..Thanks again!!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Benazir Bhutto Assassinated!!

The terrible news brings two threads of thoughts to my mind…

One that this lady has seen in her life time what most people take many incarnations to even know. She was born the daughter of President of Pakistan, Zulfiqar ali Bhutto…but she was only in her twenties when coup against her father was done by Zia ul Haq. She was jailed and her father killed. She had mentioned the pain of knowing the inevitable end of her father and expecting the bad news at any point of time, in her jail cell. She was allowed to leave the country after her father was hanged.

She came back after several years and won election in huge majority. These were the elections where she was supposed to face Zia ul Haq who however died shortly before facing the elections, in a plane crash.

As ruler of Pakistan though she was recognized as the pioneer of democracy, she and her businessman husband were accused of ramped corruption. She lost elections to Nawaz Sharif and her husband was also put to jail on corruption charges

After Parwez Musharaf seized power, he offered a safe passage to her and Nawaz Sharif and their respective families to leave Pakistan. She left Pakistan again.

She moved to London, but her efforts to come back to Pakistan and establish democracy never ceased. She was accused to have got in a Deal with President Parwez Musharaf which facilitated her comeback to Pakistan.

Greeted with a bomb blast on arrival to Pakistan at Karachi in October,2007, she continued to talk about elections. Though her approach towards Musharaf changed everyday, her pursuit for democracy only ended with her life.

Second thought … We should stop cribbing about Indian Politics. We still have democracy.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Indian Women!!

As per the UNICEF report titled ‘Progress for Children’, Fifty-four per cent Indian girls and women aged between 15 and 49 said that a husband or partner is justified in hitting or beating his wife under certain circumstances.
The circumstances enlisted in the UNICEF report are: Wife neglects the children, wife goes out without telling her husband, wife argues with her husband, wife refuses sex with husband, and wife burns the food.
“In the context of gender inequality, women’s response to abuse reflects their relatively fewer options to change or leave the relationship and their assessment of how best to protect themselves and their children,” the UNICEF report also stated.



These findings are unfathomable for some of us. It is very difficult to comprehend a mindset like this. We may believe that violence against women as outrageous. We may even call it primitive or oppressive and feel superior for our modern outlook.

But it is worth taking a stock, as to in how many layers, does the Indian society exist? There is no comparison of attitude, aspirations, visions and needs of Indian women across various strata. In India some marriages break as the women seek more space and some marriages/relationships persist despite physical abuse.

And population sporting the later attitude is in majority.

And people talk about India being the next superpower!!! Duh !!!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

The new Indian Society!!

India was always been divided by various factors… religion, caste, regions, language, ethnicity, economic status …and many others. Yet India was always known as hub of culture and literature, known for non-violence and tolerance and essentially looked upon by the world.

But now Indians are divided on by a single reason into two categories: the powerful and the powerless.

The powerful have money and connection and hence the spirit to shoot at people serving them drinks at party (Jessica Lal Case ), murder the love interest of their sisters(yadav brothers), murder their son-in-law (todi’s), rape and murder (priyadarshani mattu case) and make mockery of justice. I wonder what would have happened if media had not highlighted these cases. While the powerless are on the receiving end of justice, long court cases kill both seeking and receiving justice. A convict in Maharashtra spent 13 years in jail as an under trial before he was given a sentence to serve 10 days for giving false information in his passport.

The powerful hold the right to be offended. They can get offended by what M.F. Hussain paints, Mira Nayar films, Taslima writes and Madhuri dances to. Of course at appropriate timing like when BJP needs votes , kolkata government wants to divert attention from Nandigram and UP government is scared to loosing dalit votes.

The powerful can insight riot and kill innocent men and the system including CBI protects them like accused of 1984 riots. They can be associated with murder an heinous crimes, still hold important public offices, amass inappropriate wealth and practice evident nepotism.

To take the focus away from this divide and stay powerful, these men and women again and again bring to focus on the earlier prevailing divides of religion caste etc, making mockery of humanity.

This is why hue and cry is made over one line of a bollywood song, calling it derogatory for dalits while crime against them is on the rise. Who can forget the crime done against a dalit family in the village of Khairlanji near Nagpur on 29 September 2006.

Inciting religious hatred is now an official way to grab a vote bank. A very very mutilated picture of fundamentalism has surfaced reaching epitome with the heinous murder of family of Graham Stains, Demolition of babri majid, Gurjat riots and many such black days.

Terrorism reigns and continue to kill the powerless as money and personal guard the powerful.

India is now a nightmare for artists; superstition and fallacy represent culture, and the frustration of common man manifesting as mob violence.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Saawariya Songs


I was the first to get warnings about saawariya, as my friends knew my love for movies and faith on Mr. Bhansali. They cited examples, recited dialogues and ridiculed the ending. It seemed my favorite creator of aesthetics had gone wrong.

No…I watched the songs today on youtube…. He rules… He rocks...

“Jab se tere naina” : The song is romance. Each expression and every movement remind of the madness love creates. How one loose control over sensibilities and yet enjoys the thrills of the fall; the fall in love. When even loneliness gets embellished by the thoughts of some.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UviVAk392Nw&feature=related

"Masha-Allah" : The song talks about a guy mesmerized by beauty of a lady. What a way to generate admiration of a lady. I loved the way masha-allah words come in when her dupatta falls from her head, when he sees her through the glass and when she bends close to him under the bridge. Breath-taking indeed!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WvMu5wT4Dk&feature=related



“Thode badmash ho tum” : The song was not my favorite, before I saw it. The song is about companionship, with expression, expectations and relations very clear depicted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56Zsvx6eF7w&feature=related

So absolutely charming!! Some of the best picturized songs ever created, on equally spectacular music. How I wish I could view life and love, the Bhansali way.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

I am a Shahrukh Khan fan…


If addicted to TV, movies, news and happening events; it will be clear that there is a dearth of hero’s in this second most populous country of the world. Here becoming a hero is easy, but staying a hero very very difficult.

But I believe in one hero of today and that is Shahrukh Khan. An actor man who was no a star son and with no godfather in industry became a hero, who defied the cliché and entered the TV route, the man who defied the past debacle superstar’s had as producers; he is more of a entrepreneur then actor.

He has no known enemies in film industry or Politics. He is known to be close to both Sonia Gandhi and Atal bihari Vajpai. He must be a very level header charmer.

Being of this stature, he came to a reality show to promote his movie. Before his movies he is all over the place, from interviews at various channels to fashion shows, from cricket matches to stores inaugrations; no one markets like King Khan.

When the Manoj Kumar controversy struck, he was quick to apologized with great humility. He admit his mistake or not, he definitely apologize like a gentlemen.
Known as a family person, respected by all, a person with great sense of humor who do not shy in making fun of himself but talk wisdom most of the times when he is not cracking a fast one.

An actor who can do Chakde India and OSO in one year... a producer who mint money ... if not loved and respected, definately talked by all ... what if he is not a heart throb, he is a Hero.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

The Un-reality Show

There was an era of Saas-Bahu serials. Today even though they exist, the limelight today is on reality shows and talent hunts. Indian Idol, Sa re ga ma pa, Star Voice of India, Jhoom India, Jhalak Dikhlaja, Nach Baliye… the list is endless.
At times the participants are celebrities and at times common people. High drama along with finely tailored singing & dancing ensures high TRP rating. This drama comes from participants and judges. Participants cry, laugh and share their aspiration and at times even their family problems to win more support; to add drama while judges fight with each other while favoring a participant and at times questioning their ability. The show conductor is the most neutral.
But the highlight is using SMS to decide the winners. This ensures great profits both to the service provider and the channel. Sympathy and support of participants and popularity of the celebrity’s participants used to ensure high inflow of these.
The judges fight and grumble over decision of the public taken by these SMS, ensuring more drama, more polarization of sentiments and hence more votes.
So in this new avatar of the Indian Television, the audience pays out of their pockets more directly. :)

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Redefining Apathy …

Five years ago a state and humanity burned in the name of religion. Unsaid and unfathomable crimes were committed. The government and administration was accused for assisting this barbarism. The government retains power for five year after that incidence, even when the whole system viz the government, the law makers and the law enforcers were the main accused.

Five year later, when a large section of the population of the state still simmer in the pain of injustice and vandalism faced by them, an sting operation with the confessions of the barbarians and the talks about involvement of the administration in the roits. is captured by the media.

The timing is convenient, just before election.
Just when you feel nauseated about using the pain and death as instrument of gaining votes, there is more. The state government bans all channels showing this sting operation.

They want to blackout the past and not repair it. No ones mourning the death of humanity.

I am sure today Allah and Ram hugged each other and cried … did it rain in Gujrat?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Baffling Bulls and Bears!!

Once upon a time Sensex was a mirror of the Indian economy. Instability in government, terrorist attack and during the run-up to the budget the Sensex used to nosedive. There was a predictability of the market that gave confidence to the investors. The small investors were most affected with the ups and downs.
Now the scenario is very different as foreign investors take over the market. The Sensex in last few days soared madly, oblivious of the sentiment of Indian Economy. The reasons of such huge investment were the appreciating rupee and speculation on the stability of the US economy. But though this brought huge profits to the big players, most small investors were sidelined as they were taken aback by the market mahem.
Finally SEBI proposed to act against P-notes, lets see if this brings a proper correction and allow small investors to be play their part in the economic growth of their own country.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Vivah per Nibandh

Vivah jeevan mein mahatavpurn hota hai. Jab tak nahin hota hai, tab tak mata-pita aur rishtedar kisi aur vishay per vichar nahin karte. Un ke saath kiye hue kisi bhi vartalap ka aant vivah ke vishay mein chintan per hi hota hai.

Vivah kai prakar ka hota hai. Var vadhu ke vivah mein adhik log aate hain. var-var aur vadhu vadhu ke vivah mein jyada log, aur kabhi kabhi to parivaar bhi nahin aate..

Adhiktar log vivah ke pehle, vivah ki aor atiutsuk rehte hain. Us ke vichaar mein vivah se akelepan ka aant hota hai. Kintu vivah ke pashtyat vo vivah na karne ki salaah dete hain aur sawam ekant dhoondte hain.

Vivah per kai filmein bani hain yadi film ke aant mein vivah hoga hai to sukhmay hota hai, kitnu agar shuru mein hota hai to kai jhagde hote hain.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Indian Sports

I was ecstatic when India won the Twenty20 world championship. Leaving office early on a hectic Monday and hitch hiking to reach home in time, seemed so worthwhile when Sreesanth took that catch.

I wanted to express the euphoria the very next day in my blog because I was scared of the India-Australia ODI series and worried that my emotions will sound irrelevant very soon.

I was sure it would happen and it happened.

Listening to the entire discussions of our esteemed commentator’s, experts and coffee room chit-chat, I have come to a definite inference. I know what is wrong with the India Cricket Team, for sure. The only problem is that a billion people watch them too closely, just too closely. It’s a sport to enjoy. Sadly people don’t realize that it all ends there. They blow hot and cold at the poor cricketers(not financially :) ).

The victory rally that happened in Mumbai, I believe was misplaced. It would have been more deserving, for the two army Major’s who died in Jammu Kashmir yesterday.

Cricket is awesome, unlike many other games, it is easy to understand; hence the mass appeal. But in India it is like that huge tree which takes the air, water and sunshine away from all other sports and not allowing them to flourish, even exist.

In recent past, the stars of Indian sports are dazzling. Be it Nehru Cup in Football,
Anand becoming the World Chess champion, Asia Cup in Hockey or World School Rugby Championship…it’s undoubtedly a party in Indian sports scenario, except we are adamant not to join it.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Public Madness

A lot of people believe that India qualifies to be a next super power just on the basis of its population. Others believe that the arguably great Indian culture rest on the community dynamics of the society. This dynamics give the Indian society its unique flavor and conscience.

But lately, this same “Society” is, holding India at ransom. Earlier the mob was seen as the main villain in riots, destroying people property and humanity in the name of religion. But lately their presence has greatly increased.

They block national highways to seek reservations, murder and burn public property to protest accidental deaths, attack and kill policemen, take law and order in their own hands by punishing criminals and even the ruling of panchayat of murder and rape being executed by the mob.

The mob, part of a society is going against it.

This could be more detrimental for India then the terrorist attacks.

Nehru Cup

India wins the Nehru cup for the very first time. A glorious victory in football after five years for India. A great performance of an Indian team, in a game other then cricket. And not a single news article in any newspaper/bulletin of any channel, that talks about this victory, miss the words “Chak de India”.

I love the bond between us and movies!!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Underdogs

As an addict of movies every time I watched a Hollywood movie featuring a bunch of misfits going ahead to win a match of football(the longest yard), basket ball (Glory Road), ice hockey(Miracle) or boxing(Rambo Series of movies)…. I wondered why like Hollywood, Bollywood do not repeat this formula instead of love storey with father playing the villain formula.
It finally happened and Chak de India released.
There is something about this formula that touches the heart, in real life and in reel life. I remember vividly the finals of Wimbledon in 2001, when I witnessed Goran Ivanisevic win the title. He was the only person to win the men’s singles title as a wildcard.
Movies, which talks about, how success is close to you anywhere you stand on the rating chart of life are appealing. It’s the wisdom of life …that something’s like hard work, focus, honesty and some madness…almost always work to get you anything; you set your heart at.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Happy Independence Day!!

In many sections of Indian society, couples on their sixtieth wedding anniversary, get married again. Along with, a generally extended family, a lot of mixed experiences of life and earned wisdom, they redo their vows.

I believe that’s exactly what India should do on the Sixtieth Independence day.

I believe the real threat to India is not from the terrorist but the fundamentalist; not from the criminals but those who resort to destroy public property as a mark of protest on any and every issue; not from law-breakers but from people who have made finding loop-holes in law and manipulate witnesses; not from the corrupt bureaucrats but those who do not raise a voice against them; not hideous politicians but those who refuse to vote out of the despondency of the situation.

I think the seven vows that we need are, based on the experiences of last 60 years.

Vow 1: First and foremost we should safeguard the most precious thing called democracy. All political party should be made to follow rules like not inciting violence, respect secularism and law. Any violation to these laws should result in dissolution of the party by the election commission.

Vow 2: The judiciary, which on more then one occasion have proved as the sanest and most unbiased institution in the company, should work to come up with a process to dispose the cases at the earliest. Because we have seen over and over again that justice delayed is justice denied.

Vow 3: The education at schools should be overhauled to prepare students for self-employment rather then university education. The current system of education is single handedly responsible for the blooming service industry and crashing agriculture.

Vow 4: We should do everything to stop the rise of caste-based divide. This divide was caused by reservations in modern times, hence they should be discontinued immediately, except for reservation in education institutions and jobs based on physical (and if possible, few types of mental) disabilities.

Vow 5: Women need to be empowered. I strongly believe, the way to empower them is not be any reservation but by making the society very safe for them. Neither their parents nor they should miss opportunity because some job, some area or some city is not safe. The laws to safeguard them should be strictly implemented and any case involving crime against women should be solved with in a year, to help the victim carry on with her life.

Vow 6: Growth of population need to be addressed with punishments like loosing promotion and loosing government jobs, some incentive for girl child can also be planned. Not more then two children should be allowed per family baring exceptions.

Vow 7: India in my view took a great decision in the past of being member of group of non-aligned nation in the past. It should once again lead the world, in terms of opinion and guide the world away from the big brothers who are immature and whimsical and patronize nations and they only damage the peace of the planet.

Some one thought, motivated, worked, suffered and even died for the freedom with which we live, think, dream and express today. Long live Independent India!

Happy Independence Day!!

Friday, August 10, 2007

Lajja …

When India became independent, she decided to be a secular, sovereign, republic. And when the world got polarized during the cold war, she decided to be part of the group of non-aligned nations. She was known to be immensely tolerant in temperament.

But attack M. F. Husain & other painter by Hindu extremists, court case on every song lyrics/film scene that reflects on any faith or rituals, controversy on history books, hue and cry over even voluntary conversion of religion and recent attack on Taslima Nasrin shows how a handful of fundamentalists with the motive of getting political mileage and spotlight, can cast a shadow on creative arts and make a non-sense of unimportant events, even when there nation is suffering through population explosion, lack of education, national calamities, ignorance and low standards of living for majority of population.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Choose your friends …

Its funny how politics teaches you to choose your friend’s and foe’s with wisdom…

In 1982, during the Iraq-Iran war, America candidly helped Saddam Hussain with financing, intelligence and military. The same man which was later target of the witch hunt conducted by the U.S., after being casted as the sole enemy of freedom, democracy and humanity in general.

The U.S. is also known to have helped Fidel Castro and his revolutionaries with arms against the regime of President Fulgencio Batista. The man who later dodged American-sponsered-assassination attacks, exported refugees to U.S. and got the world almost at the brink of nuclear war in 1962.

Similar is the case of Dawood Ibrahim, who seeked shelter in Pakistan, and managed to live a luxurious, fearless life for years. The passport of his happiness in Pakistan was the fact that he had greatly hurt India. But now as U.S. seek his arrest, he is in a very uncomfortable position as Pakistan is very keen to wash their hands off him; may be reclassifying his friend's and foe's.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Justice … as we know it…

Terrorism was never so much in focus….never so much used, never so much talked about and never so much prosecuted. The Bombay blast case got the verdict after 14 years and only one of the 100 convicted was left loose.
I think this is commendable but little is talked about it, as more focus is on Sanjay Dutt gets a six-year imprisonment.

Somehow if look this verdict and try to bring parallel to Haneef’c case you notice
• Sanjay is a celebrity & Haneef a commoner.
• Sanjay convicted & sentenced in motherland & Haneef convicted in a foreign land. We have no idea if he will be prosecuted and if yes, then where.
• Both, if any how involved, were on the fringes of terrorism. One convicted of acquiring firearms while other is accused of having knowledge of a potentially deadly crime.
• Sanjay Dutt’s conviction is harsh on Bollywood with amount worth 50 crore resting on him while conviction of Haneef (who can still be convicted) will be embarrassing to a nation and challenge to the foreign relation officials.
• Media encashes on the pictures and statements of the near n dear ones of both.
• Majority of population of a nation infested with terrorism is sympathetic to both of them.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Reusability of Business model?

As a child my dad explained me about construction work and workers.

He told me you can hire them in two ways. One is on contract bases, where you pay them x amount to a contractor. He will get x people to complete the work. but he also warned, that the contractor try to get less number of people finish work the work at the earliest, since the payment has already been decided so that he can move on to the next piece of work. Work may suffer he warned.

The second way was to hire x number of workers on a day to day payment basis. But he warned that the workers try to extend work as much as possible to ensure the employment. Budget may suffer he warned.

He also told once they enter your house to work on something, they look around to see more opportunities. Like if they came to build an extra room, they will suggest how the electric wires of the house should be re-laid, telling how they can sense a huge problem in near future.

Also the workers who do actual work get paid less as compared to the contractor/“thekedaar” whose responsibility is mainly to get the workers and manage them.

And in case, more then one of these group is hired for a construction work, say one doing the flooring, another electricity lines, another plumbing and so on; the workers will change focus from work to proving that the other group inefficient and taking over their piece of work.

Oh my god! Are Indian software service providers successful because to some age old wisdom? [:)]

Sunday, July 15, 2007

What goes around comes around

Pakistan has a history of training militants. Pakistan helped the Afghans against Russia, partially to destroy the Russian plans for expansion and partially to solve its own refugee inflow from Afghanistan as a result of unrest in Afghanistan. This help was both in terms of training and arms, the role of Pakistan was so evident to the world that countries like US and UK provided it financial aids, to be shared with the Afghani’s. In fact India’s tryst with its so called “pro militancy stand” came much later, when its trained militants targeted India after not finding there place in Afghanistan. It was in 1989 that widespread insurgency started in Kashmir, largely started by the large number of Afghanistani mujahideen who entered the Kashmir valley following the end of the Soviet-Afghan War.

With Afghanistan now open to direct intervention from US directly and India somewhat in control of Kashmir situation, the demand and supply rhythm of arms and militants have got disrupted.

The Lal Majid episode proves what the experts always warned Pakistan about, that if Pakistan fails to export terrorism to its neighbors, it will manifest and kill in Pakistan itself.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Marriage Musings …

Thought 1: Why people think spending lacs of rupees in the celebration of the wedding of their kids is a symbol of love?
Thought 2: Why should one make loads of sound and block roads to celebrate new relationships?
Thought 3: Why all best wishes have to be accompanied with envelops carrying cash?
Thought 4: Why and how some unknown people can come to your house to “give badhai” and demand to be paid for this?
Thought 5: Why the only way to ward evil eye from the newly wed couple is by distributing your hard earned money amongst the grumpy servants?

Thought 6: When getting married is a personal choice then why is being married not so personal? Why should one “look” married after marriage?
Thought 7: Why should the surname of the bride is changed when both bride and bridegroom are starting a new relationship?
Thought 8: With relatives loosing their relevance and friends being the new support system, why relatives kick a fuss in the celebrations while friends wish well, irrespective to whether they witnessed the wedding or not?
Thought 9: Why people at work place assume that you will not be as sincere as before, if you are married?

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Education in India

There are very little things right with the education system in India.

The education should be such that it helps people get a livelihood and increase quality of life. But Indian system at school level teaches only to cram up books and facts, which will seldom directly give them a job when out of school. It helps them only to take admission in further courses. Abnormally high percentages are now a norm at senior secondary/12th level.

After withdrawing courses in sex-education, today a school in Mumbai prohibited girls and boys touching in schools, including handshakes and hugs.

I miss the point. Why highlight the difference between sexes, when the whole world acknowledges equal opportunity & equal responsibility between men and women? Why distract young minds into thinking awkward dos and don’ts when they should be thinking studies?

Sex education that could equip the young generation to protect themselves, in a nation with one of the highest number of AIDS patient and still growing, was withdrawn from curriculum in the name of culture. And now this regressive act of highlighting the girl-boy difference.

There are debates on medium of instruction, culture, and conservative edicts … come on…does no body care about education here….

Monday, June 11, 2007

Universal Studios, Mumbai

My friend recently visited Universal Studios, LA.

We started discussing what if they create a similar studio for Bollywood. When u enter the u will see life size statutes of Amitabh Bachchan, Shahrukh Khan and Aishwarya Rai instead of the following



The tour to the studio will include a college building, with information about the age of the oldest hero who played the role of student there. There will be many trees, with trivia about who ran around then. The cars that hit hero’s mother and the “tattoo-walla” because of whom lost brothers met. And the fan, that hero’s father used to commit suicide, when the world was mean to him.

The shows will definitely include how group dances are choreographed, how heroines are made to look pretty and how the hero’s workout to get those muscles, after which they find it difficult to even wear shirts.

One of the rides will be “Mela”, a crowded area will one have to try to not loose brothers, friends and family members. Another can be “villain ki den” where you need to save your mother, sister and girlfriend.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Procrastination at its worst….

People have highs and lows in their lives. There are good phases and bad. At this point of time my life is in a Procrastination phase.

I am dodging all work. Things are almost collapsing from all sides and I manage to just scrape through every day without completing any task. One day soon, my life will come to a halt till I so something. By the way, the worst thing is that I am not at all at peace with so many things in my plate, yet, I insist on inaction.

To make the best of this painful situation, I decided to learn about this evil from Wikipedia.org . There are two major psychological causes of procrastination at work and in life which are related to anxiety, not laziness. The first category comprises things too small to worry about, tasks that are an annoying interruption in the flow of things, and for which there are low-impact workarounds. The second category comprises things too big to control, tasks that a person might fear, or for which the implications might have a great impact on a person's life.

Hmmm....

I think its like that black crawling thing in Spiderman 3

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Conflict ...

Desperate to find a house, we reluctantly approached brokers yesterday evening. Very much aware of their modus operandi, as they not only rely on commission but also use a combination of over-quote to customer and under-quote to the house owner, to make money.

Look this is very obvious, since there is direct conflict of interest. They want to make most out of the deal and the customer & owner, who are the real participants of the deal want to part with the least. But what is worth mentioning is how politely and with great humility they do business, along with lying and manipulating.

I could not help but compare it with the corporate environment.

There is a direct conflict of interest between the employer and employee. Despite the terms like employee satisfaction, human resource development, ethics and values of the corporate, competence driven compensation and everything else that sounds good.

All employees want highest possible compensation, with work associated with latest technology, if possible with plum postings; with work load based on their specific aspirations and personal responsibilities. The employer cannot give everyone desired posting, cannot satisfy everyone’s demand of promotions, need people to do any and all task that bring him profits. The management does not want their employees to get lured by opportunities outside, so transparency is limited.

So a lot of sophisticated lying and manipulating happens. Though it may or may not be evident based on the organization.

So work life is not as good I thought it was as a kid. I thought office was all about not getting up very early(as compared to school), getting ready without the choice of dress restricted to a uniform, come home without homework to complete and no tests/semesters to pass.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Job Satisfaction …

Today again a few colleagues sat down to crib about work…talking about the existing, bitter dissatisfaction….my thoughts not very different from this known trend in my circle….

The possible reason….

Life has two constituents … personal and professional…. They are closely related status and success of one affecting other…
But now a day’s most of us…stay away from families to pursue careers …and consequently they expect the professional life to be doubly rewarding to make up for the non existence of the personal life…

Also today’s careers leave little time for recreation … someone may drive pleasure out of cooking, some pursuing sports, some reading others writing…but today most people work round the clock to accelerate their career progress…so any pleasure, excitement and exuberance is expected from jobs

May be this is over simplification of things…but I still believe we want too much from this mundane act of earning livelihood. …

Monday, May 07, 2007

Spiderman 3

Even creator of a Spiderman fiction is not mighty enough to deal with all human emotions in 2 hours and 20 min, prove their main character as ordinary and super hero at the same time, add enough romance to keep people entertain, give enough work to his special effects team and yet make a good movie….

The problems with super hero sequel movies are that they have a template like the hero have defined heroics, must win in the end (in fact in a super hero movie they can only be creative with the villain), kill bad guys, save his lady and yet be different from the previous block buster.

All in all Spiderman 3 did not meet my expectation because, though the creators tried to add new dimensions to the super hero, but they failed in making a gripping movie, making audience crave for what they came to see the movie for…

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Wrong Reasons???

2 millionaire family Ahujas and Gehlots fight a legal battle to adopt a two-and-a-half month old Shiv, who was found abandoned in a rail compartment at Khandwa railway station.

Why … because both did not have a male child, to be their heir and inherit their fortunes.

Says the lawyer of Ahuja’s “The Ahuja family doesn't have any male child. Even their extended family has all girl children. So if a male child is given, it would be justice to them”

So… an effluent family, can adopt a abandoned child, to groom as their heir … but not make the girls of their own family competent to handle the name and fortunes

Though abandoned/orphaned children should be adopted to bring up a child in family, give it the security, values, education, affection he/she deserves and nurture the child as an individual… but is this one, a valid reason???

What if this abandoned child would have been girl….???

Monday, April 30, 2007

Fried Brains

Watched this movie…Bheja Fry

Awesome movie…some great performances, awesome concept… very, very real characters…

It was a true reflection of psyche:
• We never learn …
• We all want to be wanted.
• We are so scared to make a fool of ourselves, that we stop expressing
• We realize the importance of something when we loose it
• It is difficult to come in terms with loss, but not gain
• We like to make a good impression
• Help comes from unexpected quarters
• We use power, when nothing else works
• And yes, there are no definite heroes and villains

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Quality: Consistency

It’s so interesting to climb a mountain…facing the challenges, defying the gravity, making your own path through the mundane rocks, facing the failure, finding alternatives to the destination….. each step towards the destination comes with hope, sense of purpose, learning, enrichment…

When one reaches the top…and once the ecstasy sets in you realize how much more difficult it is, to stay over at the top…one that the expectations have increased and secondly, the work and effort is not so evident now…

Consistency is what the Australian team lived today at the finals of the Cricket World Cup…they were so good, and promised such a performance…that hardly any one doubted their success even before the tournament started, and secretly hoped that Sri Lanka would pull an upset and set them back as mortals… which of course never happened.

They have proved, beyond doubt...then they know how to excel…consistently…

Friday, April 27, 2007

Merit ...

I think in people/organization do better in what they are not supposed to do …

First media…that was lacking in many ways by providing gossips, focusing on Page3 crowd, scandalizing all news, making news to keep them busy 24*7…became a tool of social justice by becoming the voice behind Jessica Lal, Nitish Katara and Priyadarshani Mattoo case… bring to light the conscience of common man

Arundhati Roy the celebrated writer is now better known as the activist behind the “Narmada Bachao Aandolan”

Politicians are lately seen more effective in attending wedding of star sons and accompanying their families to poojas then making and upholding policies

And India’s judiciary known for having little respect in terms of time for both victims and accused…it takes 13-16 years to finalize judgment on even the high profile cases, is making policies for the country like deciding on the reservation issue; keeping the democracy alive by rebuffing the politicians time and again, saving the pride of Indian capital by banning the roadside food stalls and giving attention to the fundamentalist deprave by registering a case against Gere and Shetty

Hmmm… may be its time to redefine the roles and responsibilities based on the proficiencies and ignoring the orthodox roles … like denying any reservation based on caste or religion, the only rule being merit…

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Population …

I took the public transport for the first time yesterday, here in Phoenix …I couldn’t help but notice the difference between the buses here and those in India … designated bus stops , no rush to board or descend the bus, everyone courteous and helping…
Most remarkable thing was not that there was a ramp they could lower for the physically handicapped people to board the bus, but the fact that the driver had a pair of gloves to do the same…one of the purposes being that pulling the lever would soil his hands…

On my fourth day of US, I went to a bank to open my account with them and was almost surprised by how well the process was explained to me, how patiently my questions were answered and how the bank employee wanted to talk about the world to me…. I am sure if Pande ji, the manager of the SBI bank in my hometown, got 10 customers on a busy day… he would have achieved better …

I could not, before making this comparison, comprehend the full impact of living in a country with high population…it not only stress on resources, it’s a lot of stress on its citizen’s too…

I believe more strongly then ever before, that our policy makers should work towards…getting the still high, growth rate of population under control, even though it is seen as a sensitive issue and something that may not be a vote-winner initiative. Also, vocational education, encouraging adoption and to associate the population/birth control with health care and not culture/traditions…unlike withdrawing the sex-education from schools in various states, in recent past… must be done at the earliest…

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Breathtaking ...



Grand Canyon, AZ

M E Meeran and India …

Read about the Eastern Group of Companies lead my M E Meeran for the first time … Another rags to riches story …another story of marvelous entrepreneurship from a visionary…who unlike many others haven’t been spotted by the media …yet
I believe when you work…hard and well…you do not find the need or have any urge to talk about your work…you work and your work starts talking about your capabilities, after a point…

Unlike India …

Here when you cannot show capability is one sport called cricket for which you have side-trekked all others…you talk about the colors of the cake, cut by Tendulkar …rather then how the team needs to be revamped

Here when AIDS is the biggest threat to its future…and no one is really admitting its potentially disastrous impact on the population as that will bring no votes….you talk about Richard Gere kissing Shilpa Shetty in an awareness meet ….

Here you loose the bid to host Asian Games in 2014, to Korea, because there was no estimate provided/committed for the expenditure on training, equipment and other facilities for the participating nations… GROSS

Here when the most populated state goes for elections…based on caste and religion..; when children die of dog bites in the Indian Silicon Valley …; when a news channel office is ransacked by a group of religious fundamentalist…you talk about the abhi-aish wedding…

The point is that how long will we not take the problems head on its our country. Some primer of some developed country calling us the next super power is not good enough…when we know how many people are deprived, where we are loosing in administration, how the very basic infrastructure is missing across the country…even if the capital has great metro rail …
I believe we can start by looking at these issues and admitting the problem…rather then looking away…repeatedly

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Battle of Thermopylae ...

Watched a documentary on the History Channel about this astounding chapter of history…

What I personally found remarkable in the whole episode is that when the King Leonidas of Sparta died…yes he died before all his men were killed….a fact changed by the movie 300….
His soldiers bravely fought to safeguard his dead body which they knew will be disrespected by the Persian king Xerxes.

So what was more remarkable than the fact that King Leonidas prepared his men, decided they wanted to go for this war…where odds were heavily against them, strategized it brilliantly, fought along with his soldiers………. may be would have even won if it would not have been for a traitor….is that he commanded so much respect from his men, that even when they were facing their own death, they defended his honor till they lived….

The respect he earned says about his leadership, and how the gallant men fought a war for their king with a conscience and heart …

Friday, April 13, 2007

Another Thought …

Feeling guilty after not so productive day at work … an analogy struck me

Life is like an amusement park …

We have a sunny day (though clouds come and go … ) to spend in this park … to roam around, enjoy and explore, with ticket valid for one time …eventually evening will set … though it will come at different times for all of us….when it will come we will be asked to move out of the premises with hopefully very short or no notice…

There are many rides to ride … some easy some tough…., many stalls to go to and many shows to see …. We want to move quickly to cover them all…to live it all well…. before its time to go, in fact at times we try so hard to live life that we forget that the purpose is to learn new things, experience new feelings, enjoy…

Also when we do one ride …it seems easy and we are no longer scared…like board exams passed, traveling alone, relationships… but after successfully doing one(at times even before that …) we start thinking and worrying about the next…

At times, even getting to these rides is difficult...queues you see... :) .. Things depend on chance ... also on our hard work and perseverance....but most important is to enjoy what we are doing ... shout loud without inhibitions when we slide down...feel the wind on the face...be conscience on the falling and racing of heart beat... at times hold tight to the safety bar and at times let it go …

Thursday, April 12, 2007

The Perfect Sunset


Santa Monica Beach, LA

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Patriotism …

Today, news channels talks about the so called “insult of the nation” by the two men, who have done India proud like very few others…

One cut cake with national flag colors and another presided over a corporate function of an organization which was considerate of its employees of the different nationalities, and thus played the tune of the national anthem and not the anthem itself.

Nationalism is a feeling of ownership, pride, responsibility and belonging for one’s country.

National anthem and flag are the symbols of a nation, not a nation itself. Why inappropriate conduct, if any, against the same should be discussed when there is so much that the nation needs to accomplish, from food and health, infrastructure and education, justice and peace to social and economic equality for all its citizens; when the environmental threats are over looked and threats to the integrity of the nation created for political gains; when all progress in commerce, and even military acquisitions, are made only after paying kickbacks to the administration; when the nation moves on the path of glory only in parts, with the distance between the have and have-nots increasing everyday.

Today is another day that highlights the hypocrisy of an idol-starved nation and a celebrity-crazy media, where heroes are seeked, not to inspire but to prove them as mortals; where heroes are worshiped and back-stabbed at the same time; where heroes are gauged on more then their area of expertise.

Another day when you wonder, what a thorny task it must be… to be a hero….

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Brain Dump...

How can some one write a single blog, when the voices in her head sounds like … some one have turned on a TV playing 40 different channels at the same time?
This is the synopsis…

Channel 1: Why Indian men in US still stare, at both Indian and American women, when American men don’t?
Channel 2: Why none of the tasty and quick dishes are healthy?
Channel 3: What motivates the Sun to move in the same trajectory everyday?
Channel 4: Any chances that the results of the assembly elections in UP state change its state?
Channel 5: So what if India is out of the world cup, life continues… right?

Channel 6: Why can politicians give better education and opportunities rather then reservations?
Channel 7: If Indians are divided on north-south, religion, caste, state, language… seriously, what is holding us together?
Channel 8: How to improve tolerance to jerks?
Channel 9: How can you justify a war to bring peace?
Channel 10: Why do we think more about the people who don’t think about us?

Channel 11: Why parents can always manage to emotionally blackmail?
Channel 12: Why people want to marry an NRI , as if marriage was not dangerous and unpredictable enough?
Channel 13: Why Indian men think girlfriends and wives are separate materials?
Channel 14: Why all sunsets are so beautiful?
Channel 15: Why Media wants to talk about celebrity weddings, when it’s almost fashionable to keep them out?

Channel 16: Why does it feel good to get a compliment, even when you know for sure you are not looking good?
Channel 17: what will the streets look like when all the oil and gas is over?
Channel 18: how much money should one have, to not to want any more?
Channel 19: why can’t we set a retirement age for politicians and heroes from south Indian movies?
Channel 20: Why getting up early is difficult only on weekdays?

Channel 21: Why an Indian non-masala movie should be critically acclaimed in the world, to get an audience in India?
Channel 22: What does it takes to get a flat tummy and keep it that way for life?
Channel 23: Why should be smoking banned in Indian movies, when it’s the only thing that looks …just looks …stylish?
Channel 24: How can sentenceing few people from the mob, responsible for murder of a man, his son and his son-in-law…after 23 years of the incidence be called justice to his wife and daughter?
Channel 25: Do people really take bath everyday? ..shhhh what wastage of water n soap

Channel 26: How can someone not talk all the time?
Channel 27: How thick is a skin of an Indian politician …literally?
Channel 28: Why people eat meat, when there are so many plants around?
Channel 29: Why is adoption a taboo, when you anyway don’t know what is in your genes and how it will manifest?
Channel 30: Why people don’t respect time?

Channel 31: How come there at least one song penned for all possible moods?
Channel 32: Do we get more upset when India looses in cricket because of the number of ads the cricketers feature in?
Channel 33: You can count on your finger-tips the number of people in this world, how believe “My boss is good” ... :)
Channel 34: If new situations are uncomfortable and old situations boring, where to go?
Channel 35: Why can’t the scientist find the chemical locha behind crushes…so that we can all live easy?...hunh

Channel 36: Why don’t people talk about ‘falling-out-of love’ when its as real as ‘falling-in love’?
Channel 37: Why shouldn’t all the individuals in a mob committing a crime be punished, when they are all participants in injustice, irrespective of the number?
Channel 38: How can you ban sex-education in a country fighting population explosion?
Channel 39: Why proof reading a story not half as much fun as writing one?
Channel 40: Why should everybody eat well because you are getting married?

Channel 41: What will Iraq do when it become the super power?
Channel 42: Why does media discuss cola-war when there are millions around the world with no access to clean water?
Channel 43: Why people don’t acknowledge that coffee and alcohol addiction are equally serious? … I have started borrowing money now…sigh ..

Oops ..43 … bad math haunts you through the life…

Friday, March 30, 2007

Dispensability ...

Well we are all special… a lot of thought goes into being ourselves … what we say , what we do, what we wear…our attitudes, our thinking, our values, our aspirations, our reactions … our job, our relationships ..

But are we that important???Or are we dispensable, easily dispensable …

Say tomorrow morning you, while still in bed, you decide you should quit your job. If you do, what happen… someone else will be hired do the work assigned to you. Your employers/clients will find someone … sooner or later … not as good or as good or better but by no means will any work be left undone. And this dispensability is both ways, tomorrow if you are asked to discontinue your job, it will be a change … but then you will move on. You are capable to doing the same job for someone else or some other job.

Same goes for personal life… if you think you are the centre point of someone’s life and he/she will directionless or devastated without you … try to move away … you will be surprised how … nobody is confounded …but they are enlightened that you are superfluous… this replaceability is again both ways …

Life is a like surface of a water body ...if a bucket full is scooped out …the rest of the water will come and fill… there is never a crater left on the surface

This perception is both humbling and relieving … and insightful … how we attach too much unnecessary importance to ourselves …

Monday, March 26, 2007

Be glad it happened …

Yesterday it rained. The skies were grey and the green leaves sparkled. It was beautiful. The rains washed the landscape, settled the dust and filled the air soothing moisture. And after the rain, the drops continued to hit the ground, from the trees. It seemed that the trees liked the rain so much that they wanted to hold on to the experience, even when it was over.
Why we don’t do this? Why we see only pain when its over…be it marriage, relationships, job or any other experience that could have continued.
Some people describe a broken marriage by saying “two years of my life wasted”. They don’t consider many moments, like when they walked the aisle, when they laughed till their eyes were filled with tears, when they waited for someone and someone waited for them, when they felt needed.
The meaning of life can be found only in moments. These moments are overlooked, when something ends. At times, we try to undo those moments intentionally, removing the gifts and pictures from our sight and not talking about what we shared except complains. We assume this will bring down the pain that we lost something significant, but it just exaggerates the feeling of betrayal and bitterness and make us block some beautiful memories.
When we don’t have an option to get back what we lost, the why not cherish the moments we lived... once ...

Friday, February 23, 2007

Heroes and Villains

I love movies...
And I wonder life would be so cool if it was like movies, besides having designer cloths irrespective of your economic status and perfect hair at all times including near-death situation… it will be definite if a person is good or bad. A black/bad person can be identified (though the same doesn’t happen easily in movies, from evil stepmothers to scheming politician all do fine till the climax…) and then you can just deplore them.
For the people who make my life a little more difficult then what it is…in real life… are not bad people, just that they decided not be good with me or giving them some more benefit of doubt, their priorities are different then mine and they are in a position to assert themselves more and not in a mood to be gracious, at times reasonable. And that does not qualify them as villains. .
Heroes in my life are primarily friends, who stand beside me and often support me in my views and life. Helping me realize my dreams, overcome my fears and at times see through the mist of life. Actually honestly, most of the times my hero’s are the people I like, subjectively … without rhyme or reason they just seem worth listening to and worth being with, I am absolutely biased and believe in them...till they prove me wrong.
But my heroes change and at times, very dramatically they exchange positions with my villains and vice versa (this happens seldom). This is as bad as not having a background music score in my life. This gets pretty difficult to live with these constant role reversals, changing screenplay. Almost all the lines and dialogues I rehearse in my head over a coffee or in the shower to deal with the possible situations in my day are never spoken. And like the weather department, most of my predictions on relationships and friendships are bizarre.
I assume, haven proven wrong in my ability to comprehend, analyze and extrapolate; its time when I learn to meet someone without forming an opinion about him or her, without predicting the course of our interactions and without expecting.
Or may be I will stick with writing fiction … that’s the easier way … to have at least some things your way. May be that is the real reason why some people make movies…

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

SFO ... as seen from Golden Gate Bridge

Needs???

There are things that you need to make your life easier. You use terms like essential to luxury and necessity to indulgence for the same. While traveling to San Francisco, the in-flight shopping magazine, listed the products for the needs that I could never thought any one could have.
“The foot tent” removes the direct contact between your foot and the bed-covers so that your tossing and turning does not make the covers go off your bed. The magazine advertised for the water aerator for your feline to the alarm when your mails are delivered. There are stairs for your not so tall pets to climb the bed and a wallet to pop the right card. Why can’t someone just place the cards in the wallet in order? And there was no mist mirrors for your bathroom; I simply wipe the mirror with hands to see my image in case of mist. Also there were cushions with the image of your dog breed to be placed on his/her sofa and not to mention the mechanical mouse to keep your cat active.
I feel like a self sufficient adventurer living in the jungle with limited means to manage my life.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Valentine’s Diwas per Nibandh

aaj valentine divas ke pavan avsar per sab ko meri dheron subhkamnayein.....

aaj ka din badi dhoom dham se bazaaron aur baagichon mein, ghar parivaar se door banaya jaata hai... vigyaan ke chalte aaj kal yeh messengers per bhi manaya jaane laga hai. Ladke ladkiyan, sabhi naye rang-birange kapde pehente hai.

aaj ke din mombatti se roshni ki jaati hai aur chocolate se muah meetha kiya jaata hai

Jin ladke/ladkiyon ke girlfriend/boyfriend nahin hote, vo yeh din badi sadbhavna (sari ladkiyon/ladko ke liye yahi bhavna) ke saath banate hain.

agar mata ji-pita ji range haatho pakad lete hain, to shaam ko ghar mein patakhe bhi phootte hain.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Just a thought...

We are ordinary, made out of contradictions, illogical predictability and obnoxious sensibility.

We are confident until we meet someone we look up to and want to impress. Because then we forget to be ourselves, we try to say what they want to listen and do what they want us to do. And it almost never works.

We are smart until we come across a new situation. In such situation we think a lot and try to map all the situations that we successfully tackled in past. We think of everything from what people will think if we flounder to the unwanted recap of the most embarrassing failure and the most adoring success. So we almost always focus on what we shouldn’t.

We are intelligent and worldly wise until we face the same situation. We tell our friends how to deal with breakups, overcome ego and ignore jerks at work place. And we almost always forget all this gyan when we face life.

We think we are different then the world. But from hating cursive writing as a kid to loving the guy/girl who gives us the least attention in college; from dreading a bad relations to thinking ourselves as underpaid and overexploited at work. We are all same, as if god was too lazy to even make the second stencil.

We all know time changes. But only notice when good times are over.

We know ourselves the best, but we wait for people to say we are good. We work so they can call us good and we struggle to be accepted. Everyone in this world is important and worth listening to except ourselves, how smart is that.

Why should we listen to the world which will call us “self deprecating” or “over confident”, “awesome” or “jerk”, “genius” or “really dumb”, “friend” or “weirdo” ,”ice cool” or “cynical” and nothing in between?

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Australian open and life

When you focus on a problem too hard, they say you find solutions. I say you find parallels. Watched couple of tennis matches and they tell us all about life.

When you want to survive the tournament called life(there is nothing like winning in life and no grand slam title & prize money exist; the best you can do is not get ousted.)
There is only one way, hang in there…
hang in there when you fight the mightiest
hang in there even though you made mistakes earlier and caused this situation
hang in there even if there is no hope

don’t say I quit…

be it Peer-Serena match or Blake-Gonzalez match. You win, if you don’t think you are not as good as the guy in front of you and if you don’t quit.

Now how do you think you are as good as the guy in front of you, if there are statistics and people to prove otherwise? And how can you stay when the situation is unlivable?

I have no answers. I have never tried this. I am a quitter.

And if I was Peer, I would make my mind to loose to Serena, she has so much experience and its my first time in Quarter finals of a Grand Slam.
If I was Serena, I would make up my mind to loose to Peers, she is a 19-year old, who upset third seeded Russian in the previous set, remember Serena is now unseeded.
If I was Serena, I would not fight 4 set points to loose first set, as I already made mistake to come to the stage of 6-3.
If I was Serena I would not pick up my form in second set. Look Peer had to win only one set and Serena two.

I told you I am a quitter.

May be Peer thought, I can win one I can win again.
May be Serena thought, I have so much experience and so much success behind me. Let me get back.
May be Serena picked u form after thinking, I made some unforced errors, why not fix them in this match only…why wait for another

This is something you see a lot in movies and matches, underdog and unexpected winners…beautiful thought for some …and beautiful truth for others….

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Help Required

Why can’t the world decide for once and tell me the rules of life, what should I think, what I should do. Once and for all…consistent rules, standard rules…as clearly put as the periodic table in chemistry.
Why can’t the world tell me how to react in every scenario and know a person when I look in his eyes? How can I know what to think assume and expect? When different people say different things…even same people say different things.
There are times when I suffer because I don’t speak my heart; and many times I suffer because I did. I suffer when I talk and share; and many times the reason for miseries is said to be lack of communication
There are times when I suffer because I have faith in a person and many times because I have none. Why can some one question me all the time, and I should believe in their each word.
Why should I be told I am indulging and asking for too much when I ask for a life I want; and why another set of people say my problem is that I don’t fight enough.
Why cant people see I am trying to do good and sticking to the values and if these are the wrong set of values tell me the right one.
At times I am told my problems are because I am alone and at times my problems are because I seek someone.

And how can it be my mistake all the time.

Especially when everyone is as clueless.

I can’t listen to people and learn. Because the people who say they know what to do are usually lying and just know what I can do for them. They are equally confused and cynical.
And life teaches nothing. It just confuses. And time, It treats like you have signed up for a roll-a-costar ride. Happiness and despondency being a defined path, making sure just when you start to believe you are doing good, something or someone will slap you on the face and prove you are an idiot.

Why doesn’t life stops to talk, explain give a roadmap; which freeway and what exit to take.

Why doesn’t it cut me open and change from inside whatever needs to be changed and fix everything that needs to be fixed. I cant be pretending to be what I am not. So change me completely; mold me like a lump of clay as per the requirement of the world…once for ever…even a period is good.

I am waiting for god to start the tutorial classes for life…..

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

I believe I can fly…



On the first day of the New Year I did some Para gliding …